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Puns
Why was Pavlov’s hair so soft? Classical Conditioning.
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Why was Pavlov’s hair so soft? Classical Conditioning.
Puns
Who is the coolest doctor in the hospital? The hip consultant.
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Who is the coolest doctor in the hospital? The hip consultant.
Puns
Just give it a rest is such a blanket statement.
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Just give it a rest is such a blanket statement.
Puns
I heard that urban humor is popular in Latin America. You know. Ciudad jokes.
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I heard that urban humor is popular in Latin America. You know. Ciudad jokes.
Puns
My lumberjack friend sometimes supplies me with wood to build home furniture. It’s his random axe of kindness.
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My lumberjack friend sometimes supplies me with wood to build home furniture. It’s his random axe of kindness.
Puns
A bartender broke up with his girlfriend, but he kept asking her for another shot.
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A bartender broke up with his girlfriend, but he kept asking her for another shot.
Puns
My son is studying to be a surgeon, I just hope he makes the cut.
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My son is studying to be a surgeon, I just hope he makes the cut.
Puns
Puns
It turns out that Diet Mountain Dew is the same price in vending machines on campus as it is at local grocery stores – I haven’t done my Dew diligence.
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It turns out that Diet Mountain Dew is the same price in vending machines on campus as it is at local grocery stores – I haven’t done my Dew diligence.
Puns
I failed my paper on condensation. I missed the dew date.
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I failed my paper on condensation. I missed the dew date.
Puns
Why couldn’t the police identify the dead baker? He was a John Dough!
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Why couldn’t the police identify the dead baker? He was a John Dough!
Puns
I still can’t believe someone broke into my garage last night and…stole my limbo stick. Seriously, how low can you go.
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I still can’t believe someone broke into my garage last night and…stole my limbo stick. Seriously, how low can you go.
Puns
Q: How do you get your mom to buy you a kitten? A: With a little purr-suasion.
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Q: How do you get your mom to buy you a kitten? A: With a little purr-suasion.
Puns
For the 6th time this month, someone broke into my barn and stole a cow. I think it’s time to beef up security.
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For the 6th time this month, someone broke into my barn and stole a cow. I think it’s time to beef up security.
Puns
Why are there pop tarts, but no mom tarts? Because of the pastryarchy.
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Why are there pop tarts, but no mom tarts? Because of the pastryarchy.
Puns
After a plane lands, a man asks the flight attendant, “Is it chilly outside?” “No sir, I’m afraid we are in Buenos Aires.”
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After a plane lands, a man asks the flight attendant, “Is it chilly outside?” “No sir, I’m afraid we are in Buenos Aires.”
Puns
My last apartment only had four-foot high ceilings. I couldn’t stand living there.
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My last apartment only had four-foot high ceilings. I couldn’t stand living there.
Puns
Great news! The police arrested the man who stole my iPad. I hope he’s going to face time.
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Great news! The police arrested the man who stole my iPad. I hope he’s going to face time.
Puns
What did one cupcake say to the other? You ain’t seen muffin yet.
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What did one cupcake say to the other? You ain’t seen muffin yet.
Puns
Making a boat out of stone would be a hardship.
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Making a boat out of stone would be a hardship.
Puns
I was walking through the park last night when one guy threw sodium chloride on me and another guy covered me in sulphuric acid. It was terrible – I didn’t
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I was walking through the park last night when one guy threw sodium chloride on me and another guy covered me in sulphuric acid. It was terrible – I didn’t know how to react.
Puns
What type of house does a Jack-in-the-box live in? A boingalow.
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What type of house does a Jack-in-the-box live in? A boingalow.
Puns
Why do the best foods in life have flour? Because it makes everything doughlicious.
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Why do the best foods in life have flour? Because it makes everything doughlicious.
Puns
A man rushed into the doctor’s office and shouted, “Doctor! I think I’m shrinking!” The doctor calmly responded, “Now, settle down. You’ll just have to be a little patient.”
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A man rushed into the doctor’s office and shouted, “Doctor! I think I’m shrinking!” The doctor calmly responded, “Now, settle down. You’ll just have to be a little patient.”