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Puns
My iPhone fell from the 20th floor. Good thing it was in airplane mode.
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My iPhone fell from the 20th floor. Good thing it was in airplane mode.
Puns
Last week I competed in the World Tanning Championships.. I came out with a Bronze.
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Last week I competed in the World Tanning Championships.. I came out with a Bronze.
Puns
One day two idiots decided to drive to Disneyland. When they saw a sign that said “Disneyland Left” they turned around and went home.
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One day two idiots decided to drive to Disneyland. When they saw a sign that said “Disneyland Left” they turned around and went home.
Puns
I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.
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I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.
Puns
What do you call a knight who is afraid to fight? Sir Render!
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What do you call a knight who is afraid to fight? Sir Render!
Puns
Alcohol and calculus don’t mix. Never drink and derive!
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Alcohol and calculus don’t mix. Never drink and derive!
Puns
You heard the rumor going around about butter? Nevermind, I shouldn’t spread it.
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You heard the rumor going around about butter? Nevermind, I shouldn’t spread it.
Puns
How do you know when a joke is a dad joke? When it is full groan.
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How do you know when a joke is a dad joke? When it is full groan.
Puns
I read this story where a woman gave birth in a car, and the dad named the kid Carson.
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I read this story where a woman gave birth in a car, and the dad named the kid Carson.
Puns
Wife: What’s the purpose of reindeer? Husband: To make the grass grow sweetie.
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Wife: What’s the purpose of reindeer? Husband: To make the grass grow sweetie.
Puns
My wife texted me “I love u”. I said that’s my favorite letter, too.
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My wife texted me “I love u”. I said that’s my favorite letter, too.
Puns
I took a picture of a wheat field today… It came out kind of grainy.
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I took a picture of a wheat field today… It came out kind of grainy.
Puns
What do you call an Argentinian with a rubber toe? Roberto
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What do you call an Argentinian with a rubber toe? Roberto
Puns
What do you call a crowd of chess players bragging about their wins in a hotel lobby? Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
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What do you call a crowd of chess players bragging about their wins in a hotel lobby? Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
Puns
My daughter asked why I have a written word tattoo between my shoulders that tells about my childhood. I said “that’s my back story.”
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My daughter asked why I have a written word tattoo between my shoulders that tells about my childhood. I said “that’s my back story.”
Puns
What do you call a pea that rolls off your plate? An escapea.
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What do you call a pea that rolls off your plate? An escapea.
Puns
What do mermaids wash their clothes with? Tide.
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What do mermaids wash their clothes with? Tide.
Puns
My friends got a new house, and I paid for them to get underfloor heating. It was a house warming gift.
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My friends got a new house, and I paid for them to get underfloor heating. It was a house warming gift.
Puns
I dropped a really big crumb on my laptop keyboard. Turned out to be nothing to worry about though. It’s under Ctrl.
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I dropped a really big crumb on my laptop keyboard. Turned out to be nothing to worry about though. It’s under Ctrl.
Puns
I’ve created a writing software product to rival Microsoft’s. It’s their Word against mine.
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I’ve created a writing software product to rival Microsoft’s. It’s their Word against mine.
Puns
What do you call a ring of iron atoms? A ferrous wheel.
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What do you call a ring of iron atoms? A ferrous wheel.
Puns
How does the geology student say goodnight to his grandma? Grannite.
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How does the geology student say goodnight to his grandma? Grannite.