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Puns
I met my wife while we were working at the same museum. Our first date was in the geology section, the second in paleontology, and the rest was history.
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I met my wife while we were working at the same museum. Our first date was in the geology section, the second in paleontology, and the rest was history.
Puns
I’ve entered the World Push-Up Championships. I’m going to win it, hands down.
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I’ve entered the World Push-Up Championships. I’m going to win it, hands down.
Puns
I have a horse named Mayo. Sometimes, Mayo neighs.
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I have a horse named Mayo. Sometimes, Mayo neighs.
Puns
What’s it called when you have a boat and don’t know where to park it? Pier pressure.
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What’s it called when you have a boat and don’t know where to park it? Pier pressure.
Puns
My friend told me how electricity is measured and I was like…Watt?
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My friend told me how electricity is measured and I was like…Watt?
Puns
Most of my geology jokes sink like rocks…But sometimes I come up with a gem.
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Most of my geology jokes sink like rocks…But sometimes I come up with a gem.
Puns
I tried to write a chemistry joke, but could never get a reaction.
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I tried to write a chemistry joke, but could never get a reaction.
Puns
I really like rock puns. They’re something we shouldn’t take for granite. I mean, they are pretty solid.
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I really like rock puns. They’re something we shouldn’t take for granite. I mean, they are pretty solid.
Puns
I couldn’t decide which Asian food I wanted more, Japanese or Chinese. So I just called it a Thai.
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I couldn’t decide which Asian food I wanted more, Japanese or Chinese. So I just called it a Thai.
Puns
For my next trick, I will eat a percussion instrument in a bap. Drum roll please.
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For my next trick, I will eat a percussion instrument in a bap. Drum roll please.
Puns
My geography teacher asked if I could name a country with no R in it. I said, “No way.”
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My geography teacher asked if I could name a country with no R in it. I said, “No way.”
Puns
Having regained consciousness after a car accident, the doctor is trying to convince me that I am actually a Swedish guy and I have lost my memory. Does he think
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Having regained consciousness after a car accident, the doctor is trying to convince me that I am actually a Swedish guy and I have lost my memory. Does he think I was Bjorn yesterday.
Puns
I started a new business making yachts in my attic this year…the sails are going through the roof.
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I started a new business making yachts in my attic this year…the sails are going through the roof.
Puns
I baked a giant chocolate eclair yesterday but couldn’t finish it. I’d bitten off more than I could choux.
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I baked a giant chocolate eclair yesterday but couldn’t finish it. I’d bitten off more than I could choux.
Puns
My wife has banned me from making any more breakfast puns. She says if I make any more I’m toast.
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My wife has banned me from making any more breakfast puns. She says if I make any more I’m toast.
Puns
My wife just confessed that she broke my favorite lamp. I don’t think I’ll be able to look at her in the same light ever again.
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My wife just confessed that she broke my favorite lamp. I don’t think I’ll be able to look at her in the same light ever again.
Puns
Solar power is the future! But it won’t happen overnight.
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Solar power is the future! But it won’t happen overnight.
Puns
I’m writing a series of books about making things louder. I’m on the final volume now.
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I’m writing a series of books about making things louder. I’m on the final volume now.
Puns
I went on a date last night with a girl from the zoo. It was great. She’s a keeper.
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I went on a date last night with a girl from the zoo. It was great. She’s a keeper.
Puns
I got so drunk last night that I started a fight with a mop. To be fair, I wiped the floor with it.
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I got so drunk last night that I started a fight with a mop. To be fair, I wiped the floor with it.
Puns
What kind of wig does an entomologist wear? An earwig.
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What kind of wig does an entomologist wear? An earwig.
Puns
How do you survive a fall from the Eiffel Tower? You quickly pull your Paris chute.
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How do you survive a fall from the Eiffel Tower? You quickly pull your Paris chute.
Puns
Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.
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Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.
Puns
During chemistry class, I learned that sulphur dioxide should never be poured into a metal container. It’s just an oxidant waiting to happen.
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During chemistry class, I learned that sulphur dioxide should never be poured into a metal container. It’s just an oxidant waiting to happen.