Puns
The dumpling took a trip to Spain and came back feeling empanada.
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The dumpling took a trip to Spain and came back feeling empanada.
Puns
There’s a great deal of tainted money in the world…It taint yours and it taint mine.
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There’s a great deal of tainted money in the world…It taint yours and it taint mine.
Puns
Mountains aren’t just funny, they are hill areas.
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Mountains aren’t just funny, they are hill areas.
Puns
Why was the pianist afraid of the fish? Because he could tune a piano, but couldn’t tuna-fish.
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Why was the pianist afraid of the fish? Because he could tune a piano, but couldn’t tuna-fish.
Puns
Why do bears have furry coats? Fur protection.
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Why do bears have furry coats? Fur protection.
Puns
I entered a nose wiping competition, but got disqualified. I can’t believe I blew it.
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I entered a nose wiping competition, but got disqualified. I can’t believe I blew it.
Puns
I just checked Wikipedia’s page on “eye strain”. Now there’s a site for sore eyes.”
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I just checked Wikipedia’s page on “eye strain”. Now there’s a site for sore eyes.”
Puns
It may be strange that I work out only one side of my body but I’m just exercising my rights.
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It may be strange that I work out only one side of my body but I’m just exercising my rights.
Puns
What do you call a sad robot? A sigh-borg.
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What do you call a sad robot? A sigh-borg.
Puns
A great big bird with a long neck strapped me into a chair and put a gun to my head. I was held ostrich.
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A great big bird with a long neck strapped me into a chair and put a gun to my head. I was held ostrich.
Puns
How do you measure the effectiveness of a dad joke? With a sighs-mometer.
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How do you measure the effectiveness of a dad joke? With a sighs-mometer.
Puns
The wait times to pay to see the world’s largest cat were outrageous. It was a large fee line.
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The wait times to pay to see the world’s largest cat were outrageous. It was a large fee line.
Puns
I dated a chiropractor. She was kinda manipulative.
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I dated a chiropractor. She was kinda manipulative.
Puns
My wife before her birthday was leaving jewelry catalogs all around the house. So I got her a magazine rack for her birthday.
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My wife before her birthday was leaving jewelry catalogs all around the house. So I got her a magazine rack for her birthday.
Puns
How did the river become so financially savvy? You hear a lot when you run between two banks.
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How did the river become so financially savvy? You hear a lot when you run between two banks.
Puns
The great thing about stationery shops is they’re always in the same place…
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The great thing about stationery shops is they’re always in the same place…
Puns
Why don’t you ever see a rich cheetah? Because cheetahs never prosper.
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Why don’t you ever see a rich cheetah? Because cheetahs never prosper.
Puns
I was infuriated to find my two-year-old daughter had placed my Game Boy in a bowl of ice cubes but I played it cool.
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I was infuriated to find my two-year-old daughter had placed my Game Boy in a bowl of ice cubes but I played it cool.
Puns
I went to the store to get 6 cans of Sprite. It’s only when I got home I realized I’d picked 7 up.
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I went to the store to get 6 cans of Sprite. It’s only when I got home I realized I’d picked 7 up.
Puns
I knew a guy that would eat every part of a gingerbread man except the shoes…He was afraid they were laced with something.
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I knew a guy that would eat every part of a gingerbread man except the shoes…He was afraid they were laced with something.
Puns
I got my PhD in soothing crying babies. I’m a rock it scientist.
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I got my PhD in soothing crying babies. I’m a rock it scientist.
Puns
My friend has a model fish collection, they are all to scale.
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My friend has a model fish collection, they are all to scale.
Puns
My teacher says not to worry about correct spelling because we have autocorrect. And for that I am infernally grapefruit.
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My teacher says not to worry about correct spelling because we have autocorrect. And for that I am infernally grapefruit.
Puns
What’s a house’s favorite outfit? Address.
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What’s a house’s favorite outfit? Address.
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