Puns
Got a book from the library about oils and lubricants…It was in the non-friction section.
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Got a book from the library about oils and lubricants…It was in the non-friction section.
Puns
Found a new wine guaranteed to reduce late night trips to the bathroom. It’s called Pinot Mor.
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Found a new wine guaranteed to reduce late night trips to the bathroom. It’s called Pinot Mor.
Puns
What do you call an obnoxious reindeer? Rude-olph.
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What do you call an obnoxious reindeer? Rude-olph.
Puns
What did the stamp say to the Christmas card? Stick with me and we’ll go places!
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What did the stamp say to the Christmas card? Stick with me and we’ll go places!
Puns
What do reindeers say before they tell you a joke? This one’s gonna sleigh you!
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What do reindeers say before they tell you a joke? This one’s gonna sleigh you!
Puns
Q: Why did the fish go to jail? A: Because it was gill-ty.
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Q: Why did the fish go to jail? A: Because it was gill-ty.
Puns
Q: How do you become a conductor? A: Lots of training!
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Q: How do you become a conductor? A: Lots of training!
Puns
What does a misbehaving nun dip her fries in? Worst sister sauce.
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What does a misbehaving nun dip her fries in? Worst sister sauce.
Puns
I walked into a Vietnamese restaurant. I mispronounced all the food items on the menu. I only did it to test the waiters’ patience. I was having fun, but knew
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I walked into a Vietnamese restaurant. I mispronounced all the food items on the menu. I only did it to test the waiters’ patience. I was having fun, but knew they were going to banh mi.
Puns
I tell dad jokes but I have no kids. I’m a faux pa!
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I tell dad jokes but I have no kids. I’m a faux pa!
Puns
Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? The sailors were marooned.
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Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? The sailors were marooned.
Puns
What did celery say when he broke up with his girlfriend? She wasn’t right for me, so I really don’t carrot all.
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What did celery say when he broke up with his girlfriend? She wasn’t right for me, so I really don’t carrot all.
Puns
The fishmonger at our local market is always pretty unfriendly. I’d describe him as a little standoffish.
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The fishmonger at our local market is always pretty unfriendly. I’d describe him as a little standoffish.
Puns
Q: How did the snail feel after running a 5K? A: Sluggish.
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Q: How did the snail feel after running a 5K? A: Sluggish.
Puns
When it comes to baking, don’t be afraid to take whisks.
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When it comes to baking, don’t be afraid to take whisks.
Puns
What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts? A barberqueue.
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What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts? A barberqueue.
Puns
Book: “101 Hot ‘n’ Spicy Thai Food Recipes” by Tung Payne
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Book: “101 Hot ‘n’ Spicy Thai Food Recipes” by Tung Payne
Puns
What did the horse say after it tripped? Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!
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What did the horse say after it tripped? Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!
Puns
What do you call an angry carrot? A steamed vegetable.
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What do you call an angry carrot? A steamed vegetable.
Puns
Where do polar bears keep their money? In a snowbank.
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Where do polar bears keep their money? In a snowbank.
Puns
What would bears be without bees? ears.
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What would bears be without bees? ears.
Puns
What do you call a pile of cats? A meow-ntain.
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What do you call a pile of cats? A meow-ntain.
Puns
What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
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What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
Puns
What has more lives than a cat? A frog, because it croaks every day.
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What has more lives than a cat? A frog, because it croaks every day.
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