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Puns
I found a rock yesterday which measured 1760 yards in length. Must be some kind of milestone.
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I found a rock yesterday which measured 1760 yards in length. Must be some kind of milestone.
Puns
Ladies, if your boyfriend asks for matador equipment for his birthday…It’s a big red flag.
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Ladies, if your boyfriend asks for matador equipment for his birthday…It’s a big red flag.
Puns
My friend was sent to prison last year for excessive burping. He’s finally been let out with a pardon.
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My friend was sent to prison last year for excessive burping. He’s finally been let out with a pardon.
Puns
I just got my degree in Sky Diving. I had to drop out to graduate.
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I just got my degree in Sky Diving. I had to drop out to graduate.
Puns
What do you call a happy cowboy? A jolly rancher.
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What do you call a happy cowboy? A jolly rancher.
Puns
My wife won’t let me get a tattoo of a grizzly bear on each bicep…She is infringing on my right to bear arm.
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My wife won’t let me get a tattoo of a grizzly bear on each bicep…She is infringing on my right to bear arm.
Puns
I told my wife her belly was too big. She said, “That’s a bit below the belt.” “Exactly.” I said.
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I told my wife her belly was too big. She said, “That’s a bit below the belt.” “Exactly.” I said.
Puns
I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.
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I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.
Puns
What do you call a knight who is afraid to fight? Sir Render!
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What do you call a knight who is afraid to fight? Sir Render!
Puns
Alcohol and calculus don’t mix. Never drink and derive!
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Alcohol and calculus don’t mix. Never drink and derive!
Puns
How does a ghost link his phone to his earbuds? Boo-tooth.
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How does a ghost link his phone to his earbuds? Boo-tooth.
Puns
I took over a manure business without having any training. I just stepped right into it.
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I took over a manure business without having any training. I just stepped right into it.
Puns
A friend of mine asked me to invest in his line of new kitchen utensils but after reviewing the business plan, there were too many whisk.
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A friend of mine asked me to invest in his line of new kitchen utensils but after reviewing the business plan, there were too many whisk.
Puns
I wish they sold off brand cards. I’d get me a honder.
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I wish they sold off brand cards. I’d get me a honder.
Puns
Tried to come up with a carpentry pun that woodwork. I think I nailed it, but nobody saw it.
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Tried to come up with a carpentry pun that woodwork. I think I nailed it, but nobody saw it.
Puns
What is the opposite of croissant? A happy uncle.
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What is the opposite of croissant? A happy uncle.
Puns
Plain donuts are 100% better than glazed donuts! There, I said it. I am NOT going to sugarcoat it.
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Plain donuts are 100% better than glazed donuts! There, I said it. I am NOT going to sugarcoat it.
Puns
I just got fired from the Scabble factory. I have no words.
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I just got fired from the Scabble factory. I have no words.
Puns
What do you call a girl who cheats on her art assignment? Tracy.
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What do you call a girl who cheats on her art assignment? Tracy.
Puns
I looked out the window and all the cats in neighborhood was split up in to groups depending on there color and breed… They put themselves into Catagories.
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I looked out the window and all the cats in neighborhood was split up in to groups depending on there color and breed… They put themselves into Catagories.
Puns
Just finished reading a book about Middle Eastern dance by Yasser Icanboogie.
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Just finished reading a book about Middle Eastern dance by Yasser Icanboogie.
Puns
I can speak to kettles. Because I’m boilingual.
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I can speak to kettles. Because I’m boilingual.
Puns
They said 7 congressmen wasn’t enough…so I Senate.
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They said 7 congressmen wasn’t enough…so I Senate.
Puns
Why does Hans Solo like gum so much? Because it’s Chewy.
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Why does Hans Solo like gum so much? Because it’s Chewy.