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Puns
I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the ax.
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I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the ax.
Puns
5 ants rented an apartment with another 5 ants. Now theyre tenants.
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5 ants rented an apartment with another 5 ants. Now theyre tenants.
Puns
My boss asked me why I only get sick on work days. I said it must be my weekend immune system.
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My boss asked me why I only get sick on work days. I said it must be my weekend immune system.
Puns
How do you know when Santa’s in the room? You can sense his presents.
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How do you know when Santa’s in the room? You can sense his presents.
Puns
Why shouldn’t you iron a 4 leaf clover? You don’t want to press your luck!
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Why shouldn’t you iron a 4 leaf clover? You don’t want to press your luck!
Puns
“Waiter, this coffee tastes like mud!” “Well, it was ground this morning!”
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“Waiter, this coffee tastes like mud!” “Well, it was ground this morning!”
Puns
Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then hung up. Im getting sick and tired of these cold calls.
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Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then hung up. Im getting sick and tired of these cold calls.
Puns
My Visa declined at the sweater store, so the cashier had to ask for my cardigan.
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My Visa declined at the sweater store, so the cashier had to ask for my cardigan.
Puns
Why are more people happier on Fridays? Because, the next day is sadder day.
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Why are more people happier on Fridays? Because, the next day is sadder day.
Puns
Puns
I bought some new frog skin shoes. They’re open-toad.
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I bought some new frog skin shoes. They’re open-toad.
Puns
How do trees access the internet? They log in.
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How do trees access the internet? They log in.
Puns
The inventor of the world’s first organic coffins made entirely out of vegetables has died. May he rest in peas.
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The inventor of the world’s first organic coffins made entirely out of vegetables has died. May he rest in peas.
Puns
Why should you never breakup with a goalie? Because hes a keeper.
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Why should you never breakup with a goalie? Because hes a keeper.
Puns
What did the ill comic say in the hospital? Im here
all weak.
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What did the ill comic say in the hospital? Im here
all weak.
Puns
You should wear glasses while doing math. It improves division.
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You should wear glasses while doing math. It improves division.
Puns
I once lived in a home with four foot ceilings. I couldn’t stand living there.
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I once lived in a home with four foot ceilings. I couldn’t stand living there.
Puns
How do you put a baby alien to sleep? You rocket.
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How do you put a baby alien to sleep? You rocket.
Puns
What do you call a laughing motorcycle? Yamahahaha.
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What do you call a laughing motorcycle? Yamahahaha.
Puns
After the birth of your child, your role in life will become apparent.
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After the birth of your child, your role in life will become apparent.
Puns
My kid swallowed some coins, so the doctor told me to just wait…no change yet.
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My kid swallowed some coins, so the doctor told me to just wait…no change yet.
Puns
Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
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Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
Puns
Why do cheeses never worry about anything? Because everythings gonna brie all right.
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Why do cheeses never worry about anything? Because everythings gonna brie all right.
Puns
I’m curious to know if nurse sharks assist sturgeons.
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I’m curious to know if nurse sharks assist sturgeons.