Puns
Once you’ve seen one shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.
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Once you’ve seen one shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.
Puns
I was going to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the time.
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I was going to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the time.
Puns
When the TV repairman got married, the reception was excellent.
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When the TV repairman got married, the reception was excellent.
Puns
Driving on all these turnpikes is taking its toll.
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Driving on all these turnpikes is taking its toll.
Puns
A boiled egg in the morning s hard to beat.
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A boiled egg in the morning s hard to beat.
Puns
It’s better to love a short girl than not a tall.
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It’s better to love a short girl than not a tall.
Puns
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles.
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How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles.
Puns
We told the restaurant manager that our salads were a bit on the dry side. It was just one of those situations that needed addressing.
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We told the restaurant manager that our salads were a bit on the dry side. It was just one of those situations that needed addressing.
Puns
I ordered an axe from overseas and had it shipped, I would have a foreign axe scent.
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I ordered an axe from overseas and had it shipped, I would have a foreign axe scent.
Puns
Why did the pig get hired by the restaurant? He was reallly good at bacon.
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Why did the pig get hired by the restaurant? He was reallly good at bacon.
Puns
Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just wanted a bit more space.
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Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just wanted a bit more space.
Puns
When the wheel was invented, it caused a revolution.
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When the wheel was invented, it caused a revolution.
Puns
I was walking through a quarry and I said to the foreman, “That sure is a big rock.” “Boulder”, he corrected me. So I stuck out y chest and shouted,
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I was walking through a quarry and I said to the foreman, “That sure is a big rock.” “Boulder”, he corrected me. So I stuck out y chest and shouted, “THAT SURE IS A BIG ROCK!”
Puns
There have been plenty of chicken jokes lately. I guess the hens justify the memes.
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There have been plenty of chicken jokes lately. I guess the hens justify the memes.
Puns
What do you give a sick lemon? Lemon-aid.
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What do you give a sick lemon? Lemon-aid.
Puns
I’ve been busy writing a pun about the wind. I can’t share it yet, it’s just a draft.
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I’ve been busy writing a pun about the wind. I can’t share it yet, it’s just a draft.
Puns
Fishermen are reel men.
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Fishermen are reel men.
Puns
Planning meals in advance, now that’s some food forethought.
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Planning meals in advance, now that’s some food forethought.
Puns
I can give you the cause of anaphylactic shock in a nutshell.
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I can give you the cause of anaphylactic shock in a nutshell.
Puns
I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
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I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
Puns
Mum – “What are you doing, Tommy?” Tommy – “I’m writing a letter to my sister.” Mum – “Don’t, be silly, you can’t write.” Tommy – “That doesn’t matter, she
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Mum – “What are you doing, Tommy?” Tommy – “I’m writing a letter to my sister.” Mum – “Don’t, be silly, you can’t write.” Tommy – “That doesn’t matter, she can’t read.”
Puns
Gamekeeper – “Don’t you know you’re not allowed to fish here?” Sandy – “I’m not fishing. I’m teaching a worm to swim!”
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Gamekeeper – “Don’t you know you’re not allowed to fish here?” Sandy – “I’m not fishing. I’m teaching a worm to swim!”
Puns
Why did the kid cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
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Why did the kid cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
Puns
Dentist: “Stop screaming! I haven’t even touched your tooth. In fact you’re not on the chair yet.” Boy: “I know, but you’re standing on my foot!”
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Dentist: “Stop screaming! I haven’t even touched your tooth. In fact you’re not on the chair yet.” Boy: “I know, but you’re standing on my foot!”
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