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Puns
Teacher: “Which one is closer, Sun or Africa?” Johnny: “Sun” Teacher: “Why?” Johnny: “We can see the sun all the time, but can’t see Africa.”
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Teacher: “Which one is closer, Sun or Africa?” Johnny: “Sun” Teacher: “Why?” Johnny: “We can see the sun all the time, but can’t see Africa.”
Puns
Boy – “I wish I’d lived at the very beginning of the world.” Teacher – “Why?” Boy – “Because I wouldn’t have had to learn history.”
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Boy – “I wish I’d lived at the very beginning of the world.” Teacher – “Why?” Boy – “Because I wouldn’t have had to learn history.”
Puns
How as the snow globe feeling after the storm? A little shaken.
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How as the snow globe feeling after the storm? A little shaken.
Puns
Dad, do you think its going to snow this winter? I dont know, its all up in the air
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Dad, do you think its going to snow this winter? I dont know, its all up in the air
Puns
Q: The more it has the less it weighs. What is it? A: Cheese with holes.
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Q: The more it has the less it weighs. What is it? A: Cheese with holes.
Puns
What do you call a pig with three eyes? Piiig.
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What do you call a pig with three eyes? Piiig.
Puns
What side of a turkey has the most feathers? The outside!
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What side of a turkey has the most feathers? The outside!
Puns
Q: What has a tail and a head, but no body? A: A nickel.
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Q: What has a tail and a head, but no body? A: A nickel.
Puns
Wife: Why dont you take the energy you expend telling terrible dad jokes and refocus it on writing a book instead? Me: Thats a novel idea.
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Wife: Why dont you take the energy you expend telling terrible dad jokes and refocus it on writing a book instead? Me: Thats a novel idea.
Puns
I met a nun that wiped her nose on her clothes. She had a nasty habit.
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I met a nun that wiped her nose on her clothes. She had a nasty habit.
Puns
Why did Eds parents name their second son Ed, too? Because two Eds are better than one.
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Why did Eds parents name their second son Ed, too? Because two Eds are better than one.
Puns
Mom: I found a restaurant where we can eat dirt cheap! Dad: Id rather eat steak.
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Mom: I found a restaurant where we can eat dirt cheap! Dad: Id rather eat steak.
Puns
Did you hear that NASA has lauched several cows into orbit? It was the herd shot around the world.
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Did you hear that NASA has lauched several cows into orbit? It was the herd shot around the world.
Puns
Why was the kid late to school every day? The teacher said it was never too late to learn.
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Why was the kid late to school every day? The teacher said it was never too late to learn.
Puns
A patient and psychologist were meeting for the first time. I think Im a goat, the patient tells the new doctor. All right, the doctor says as he jots notes
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A patient and psychologist were meeting for the first time. I think Im a goat, the patient tells the new doctor. All right, the doctor says as he jots notes down. And how long have you had this feeling? The man told him, Ever since I was a kid.
Puns
I always remember my teacher saying I had nothing but twigs for brains. Just sticks in my mind.
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I always remember my teacher saying I had nothing but twigs for brains. Just sticks in my mind.
Puns
A doctor broke his leg when he was auditioning for a play. Luckily, he still made the cast.
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A doctor broke his leg when he was auditioning for a play. Luckily, he still made the cast.
Puns
I have a fear of giants…it’s called fefi-phobia.
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I have a fear of giants…it’s called fefi-phobia.
Puns
I just mashed up some Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes into paste and used it between my bathroom tiles I was installing. They’re Grrrrrout!
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I just mashed up some Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes into paste and used it between my bathroom tiles I was installing. They’re Grrrrrout!
Puns
Dad: Why are you eating your homework? Kid: The teacher said it was a piece of cake.
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Dad: Why are you eating your homework? Kid: The teacher said it was a piece of cake.
Puns
Q: How can you double your money? A: Look at it in a mirror.
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Q: How can you double your money? A: Look at it in a mirror.
Puns
Dr. Smith came into the bar regularly, every night ordering an almond daiquiri. One night, the bartender realized he was out of almonds, so he substituted hickory nuts. Dr. Smith
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Dr. Smith came into the bar regularly, every night ordering an almond daiquiri. One night, the bartender realized he was out of almonds, so he substituted hickory nuts. Dr. Smith took one sip and asked, “Is this an almond daiquiri?” Dick replied, “Nope. It’s a hickory daiquiri, Doc.”
Puns
A fly felt a scratching on his back and yelled, Hey, is someone back there? A tiny voice answered, There mite be. The fly frowned, Is that a pun, mite?
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A fly felt a scratching on his back and yelled, Hey, is someone back there? A tiny voice answered, There mite be. The fly frowned, Is that a pun, mite? The mite snickered, Did you like it? I just made it up on the fly.
Puns
At the beach today I saw two birds sunbathing on little chairs while enjoying ice cream. They were baskin robins.
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At the beach today I saw two birds sunbathing on little chairs while enjoying ice cream. They were baskin robins.