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Puns
Coach: Youd be better at bowling than baseball. Kid: Why? Coach: You always get strikes!
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Coach: Youd be better at bowling than baseball. Kid: Why? Coach: You always get strikes!
Puns
Q: Why is money called dough? A: Because we all knead it.
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Q: Why is money called dough? A: Because we all knead it.
Puns
Two men walked into a bar. You would think at least one of them would have ducked.
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Two men walked into a bar. You would think at least one of them would have ducked.
Puns
I like European food so I decided to Russia over to a local restaurant because I was Hungary. After Czeching the menu I ordered Turkey with extra onions. When I
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I like European food so I decided to Russia over to a local restaurant because I was Hungary. After Czeching the menu I ordered Turkey with extra onions. When I was Finnished I pushed the plate back and told the waiter The Greece was a bit heavy, but good, and there is Norway I could eat another bite.
Puns
For Valentines Day I got my wife some beads for an abacus. It’s the little things that count.
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For Valentines Day I got my wife some beads for an abacus. It’s the little things that count.
Puns
A five-dollar bill walks into a bar. The bartender says, Hey. This is a singles bar.”
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A five-dollar bill walks into a bar. The bartender says, Hey. This is a singles bar.”
Puns
A tennis ball walks into a bar. The barman says, Have you been served?
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A tennis ball walks into a bar. The barman says, Have you been served?
Puns
Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road, so I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”
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Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road, so I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”
Puns
What is cheese that doesnt belong to you called? Nacho cheese!
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What is cheese that doesnt belong to you called? Nacho cheese!
Puns
What did Venus say while flirting with Saturn? Give me a ring sometime.
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What did Venus say while flirting with Saturn? Give me a ring sometime.
Puns
Kid: Will the pancakes be long? Im starving. Dad: No. Theyll be round.
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Kid: Will the pancakes be long? Im starving. Dad: No. Theyll be round.
Puns
For a while, Houdini would use a trap door in every single one of his shows. I guess you could say he was going through a stage.
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For a while, Houdini would use a trap door in every single one of his shows. I guess you could say he was going through a stage.
Puns
What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school? Bison.
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What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school? Bison.
Puns
Did you hear about the mathematician whos afraid of negative numbers? He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
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Did you hear about the mathematician whos afraid of negative numbers? He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
Puns
The CEO of Ikea was appointed Prime Minister of Sweden. Hes currently assembling his cabinet.
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The CEO of Ikea was appointed Prime Minister of Sweden. Hes currently assembling his cabinet.
Puns
Which is faster, hot or cold? Hot, because you can catch a cold.
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Which is faster, hot or cold? Hot, because you can catch a cold.
Puns
There were two muffins in an oven, and one said, Its getting hot in here, isnt it?. The other muffin gasps, Ahh! A talking muffin!
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There were two muffins in an oven, and one said, Its getting hot in here, isnt it?. The other muffin gasps, Ahh! A talking muffin!
Puns
I made a playlist for hiking. It has music from Peanuts, The Cranberries, and Eminem. I call it my Trail Mix.
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I made a playlist for hiking. It has music from Peanuts, The Cranberries, and Eminem. I call it my Trail Mix.
Puns
Why is a swordfishs nose 11 inches long? Because if it were 12 inches, it would be a foot.
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Why is a swordfishs nose 11 inches long? Because if it were 12 inches, it would be a foot.
Puns
What kind of car does a sheep drive? A Lambaagini.
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What kind of car does a sheep drive? A Lambaagini.
Puns
Two sociologists are sitting by the pool. One turns to the other and asks, “Have you read Marx?” to which he replies, “Yes, it’s these darn wicker chairs.”
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Two sociologists are sitting by the pool. One turns to the other and asks, “Have you read Marx?” to which he replies, “Yes, it’s these darn wicker chairs.”
Puns
What did the fried rice say to the shrimp? Dont wok away from me!
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What did the fried rice say to the shrimp? Dont wok away from me!
Puns
Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocaine during a root canal? His goal was to transcend dental medication.
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Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocaine during a root canal? His goal was to transcend dental medication.
Puns
After the birth of your child, your role in life will become apparent.
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After the birth of your child, your role in life will become apparent.