Puns
I really like pita bread, in fact — it’s second to Naan.
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I really like pita bread, in fact — it’s second to Naan.
Puns
I’m going to stand outside. If anyone asks where I am, tell them I am outstanding.
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I’m going to stand outside. If anyone asks where I am, tell them I am outstanding.
Puns
I knew a guy who collected candy canes, they were all in mint condition.
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I knew a guy who collected candy canes, they were all in mint condition.
Puns
What kind of award does the world’s top dentist get? A little plaque.
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What kind of award does the world’s top dentist get? A little plaque.
Puns
What do you call a bee that can’t make up it’s mind? A Maybe.
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What do you call a bee that can’t make up it’s mind? A Maybe.
Puns
What do you call an iPhone that isn’t kidding around? Dead Siri-ous.
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What do you call an iPhone that isn’t kidding around? Dead Siri-ous.
Puns
Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
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Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
Puns
Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!
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Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!
Puns
If you see an Apple Store get robbed, does that make you an iWitness?
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If you see an Apple Store get robbed, does that make you an iWitness?
Puns
What do dentists call their x-rays? Tooth pics!
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What do dentists call their x-rays? Tooth pics!
Puns
I’ve started sleeping in our fireplace, now I sleep like a log.
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I’ve started sleeping in our fireplace, now I sleep like a log.
Puns
Why don’t pirates take a shower before they walk the plank? They just wash up on shore.
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Why don’t pirates take a shower before they walk the plank? They just wash up on shore.
Puns
My biggest fear is being trapped in a small room with Santa. I have Claus-trophobia.
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My biggest fear is being trapped in a small room with Santa. I have Claus-trophobia.
Puns
Where did the IT guy go? He probably ransomeware.
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Where did the IT guy go? He probably ransomeware.
Puns
I broke my finger last week. On the other hand, I’m ok.
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I broke my finger last week. On the other hand, I’m ok.
Puns
Why should you never date a tennis player? Because love means nothing to them.
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Why should you never date a tennis player? Because love means nothing to them.
Puns
What do you call an alligator detective? An investi-gator.
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What do you call an alligator detective? An investi-gator.
Puns
I’m a big fan of whiteboards. I find them quite re-markable.
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I’m a big fan of whiteboards. I find them quite re-markable.
Puns
I used to run a dating service for chickens, but I struggled to make hens meet.
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I used to run a dating service for chickens, but I struggled to make hens meet.
Puns
A plateau is the highest form of flattery.
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A plateau is the highest form of flattery.
Puns
What did the grape say when it got crushed? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
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What did the grape say when it got crushed? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
Puns
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He didn’t get hurt because it was a soft drink.
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Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He didn’t get hurt because it was a soft drink.
Puns
Where do sheep go to get a haircut? The baa baa shop.
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Where do sheep go to get a haircut? The baa baa shop.
Puns
My friends keep pressuring me to go spelunking, so I finally caved.
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My friends keep pressuring me to go spelunking, so I finally caved.
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