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Puns
I took over a manure business without having any training. I just stepped right into it.
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I took over a manure business without having any training. I just stepped right into it.
Puns
My friend Phillip lost his lip in an industrial accident. Now we call him Phil.
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My friend Phillip lost his lip in an industrial accident. Now we call him Phil.
Puns
I think I want a job cleaning mirrors — it’s just something I can see myself doing.
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors — it’s just something I can see myself doing.
Puns
Did you hear about the woman who could not stop collecting magazines? She had issues.
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Did you hear about the woman who could not stop collecting magazines? She had issues.
Puns
I was getting really claustrophobic in elevators. Ive had to start taking steps to avoid it.
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I was getting really claustrophobic in elevators. Ive had to start taking steps to avoid it.
Puns
Teacher: Who built the first American car? Student: Pilgrims. Teacher: The Pilgrims? Student: Ya, they made the Mayflower Compact.
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Teacher: Who built the first American car? Student: Pilgrims. Teacher: The Pilgrims? Student: Ya, they made the Mayflower Compact.
Puns
Why did the North Korean defect to South Korea? He did some seoul searching.
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Why did the North Korean defect to South Korea? He did some seoul searching.
Puns
I entered an astronomy competition the other day — I didn’t get first place, but I did get a constellation prize
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I entered an astronomy competition the other day — I didn’t get first place, but I did get a constellation prize
Puns
My friends bakery had burned down yesterday — now his business is toast.
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My friends bakery had burned down yesterday — now his business is toast.
Puns
Did you see the story about the missing dolphin? I’d tell you more about it but there’s really no porpoise…
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Did you see the story about the missing dolphin? I’d tell you more about it but there’s really no porpoise…
Puns
Teacher: Describe yourself in 4 words. Student: Bad at counting.
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Teacher: Describe yourself in 4 words. Student: Bad at counting.
Puns
What do you call 3 mexicans breaking into somewhere? Trespassers
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What do you call 3 mexicans breaking into somewhere? Trespassers
Puns
How much for these old batteries? For you? No charge.
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How much for these old batteries? For you? No charge.
Puns
What do you call a musical wreath made from $100 bills? Aretha Franklins
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What do you call a musical wreath made from $100 bills? Aretha Franklins
Puns
I love the north pole and hate the south pole! Wait, I love the south pole and hate the north pole! – I must be bi-polar.
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I love the north pole and hate the south pole! Wait, I love the south pole and hate the north pole! – I must be bi-polar.
Puns
What do you call a rifle that fires 3 bullets at once? A trifle!
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What do you call a rifle that fires 3 bullets at once? A trifle!
Puns
Avoiding the use of French-derived words is not my forte.
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Avoiding the use of French-derived words is not my forte.
Puns
How did the dungeon keeper plan for retirement? Collecting stocks and bonds.
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How did the dungeon keeper plan for retirement? Collecting stocks and bonds.
Puns
What kind of clothes do lawyers wear? Lawsuits.
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What kind of clothes do lawyers wear? Lawsuits.
Puns
How do cows go from one town to another? they cowmmute.
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How do cows go from one town to another? they cowmmute.
Puns
I was eating at an Indian restaurant when a homeless man came in and asked the girl behind the counter if they had any food he could have. She told
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I was eating at an Indian restaurant when a homeless man came in and asked the girl behind the counter if they had any food he could have. She told him there was Naan.
Puns
I wanted to sue the airline because they damaged my luggage. I showed the badly damaged remains to my lawyer. He said “You don’t have much of a case.”
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I wanted to sue the airline because they damaged my luggage. I showed the badly damaged remains to my lawyer. He said “You don’t have much of a case.”
Puns
Sick eagles are forbidden by law. They’re illeagle.
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Sick eagles are forbidden by law. They’re illeagle.