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Puns
I once had a job crushing cans. It was soda pressing.
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I once had a job crushing cans. It was soda pressing.
Puns
Is it proper to eat a hamburger with your fingers? No you should eat your fingers separately!
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Is it proper to eat a hamburger with your fingers? No you should eat your fingers separately!
Puns
What do Australian chess players say when they’re finished eating at a restaurant? Check mate.
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What do Australian chess players say when they’re finished eating at a restaurant? Check mate.
Puns
What do you call a negative Mexican? A Mexican’t
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What do you call a negative Mexican? A Mexican’t
Puns
You know what is intense? Camping — is intense.
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You know what is intense? Camping — is intense.
Puns
Spoiler Alert I just watched the movie called the Fast and Furious. It’s about racing cars. I just couldn’t get into it because there were too many spoilers.
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Spoiler Alert I just watched the movie called the Fast and Furious. It’s about racing cars. I just couldn’t get into it because there were too many spoilers.
Puns
You make cool foam designs on top of your coffee? Well latte-da.
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You make cool foam designs on top of your coffee? Well latte-da.
Puns
What did the magician say when he made his rabbit disappear? Hare today, gone tomorrow.
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What did the magician say when he made his rabbit disappear? Hare today, gone tomorrow.
Puns
My wife asked why I keep my guns in the library. I said it’s for shelf-defense.
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My wife asked why I keep my guns in the library. I said it’s for shelf-defense.
Puns
What do you call a party of communists that haven’t seen each other in years? Soviet Reunion.
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What do you call a party of communists that haven’t seen each other in years? Soviet Reunion.
Puns
What do you call a team of Christian mutant superheroes? The A-Men
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What do you call a team of Christian mutant superheroes? The A-Men
Puns
What is a Polish person’s favorite tool? A Warsaw.
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What is a Polish person’s favorite tool? A Warsaw.
Puns
Once you’ve seen one shopping center, you’ve seen a mall
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Once you’ve seen one shopping center, you’ve seen a mall
Puns
Principal: “I’ve had complaints about you Johnny from all of your teachers. What have you been doing?” Johnny: “Nothing, sir.” Principal: “Exactly!”
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Principal: “I’ve had complaints about you Johnny from all of your teachers. What have you been doing?” Johnny: “Nothing, sir.” Principal: “Exactly!”
Puns
My buddy is awesome at grilling steaks. They are all very well done
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My buddy is awesome at grilling steaks. They are all very well done
Puns
I wanted to make my racing snail faster so I took off its shell. If anything it became a lot more sluggish.
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I wanted to make my racing snail faster so I took off its shell. If anything it became a lot more sluggish.
Puns
I’ve just started a band called 999 Megabytes. We haven’t done a gig yet.
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I’ve just started a band called 999 Megabytes. We haven’t done a gig yet.
Puns
My friend keeps saying, “sheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water.” I know he means well.
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My friend keeps saying, “sheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water.” I know he means well.