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Puns
My friend said he was a harp — but he was obviously a lyre.
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My friend said he was a harp — but he was obviously a lyre.
Puns
If two vegetarians are arguing Is it considered a beef?
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If two vegetarians are arguing Is it considered a beef?
Puns
The Dalai Lama went into a pizza shop and asked them to make him one with everything.
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The Dalai Lama went into a pizza shop and asked them to make him one with everything.
Puns
What nationality is Santa Claus? North Polish.
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What nationality is Santa Claus? North Polish.
Puns
There are 3 types of people in this world, those who can count, and those you can not.
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There are 3 types of people in this world, those who can count, and those you can not.
Puns
Which knight of the round table had Diabetes? Sir Lance-a-lot
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Which knight of the round table had Diabetes? Sir Lance-a-lot
Puns
What times does the Chinaman go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty
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What times does the Chinaman go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty
Puns
Fun fact, clown fish are edible. But be warned — they taste funny.
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Fun fact, clown fish are edible. But be warned — they taste funny.
Puns
There was a depressed sausage — he thought his life was the wurst.
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There was a depressed sausage — he thought his life was the wurst.
Puns
Where did the fortune-teller go on her vacation? To Palm Beach.
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Where did the fortune-teller go on her vacation? To Palm Beach.
Puns
A termite walks into a bar and says, “Hey, is the bar tender here?”
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A termite walks into a bar and says, “Hey, is the bar tender here?”
Puns
I was told if I got robbed when I was camping, it would invalidate my insurance. They said if my tent got stolen, I’d no longer be covered.
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I was told if I got robbed when I was camping, it would invalidate my insurance. They said if my tent got stolen, I’d no longer be covered.
Puns
A frog can leap higher than a house — partly because of the strength of its hind legs, but also because houses have difficulty jumping at all.
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A frog can leap higher than a house — partly because of the strength of its hind legs, but also because houses have difficulty jumping at all.
Puns
I was up late last night, trying to figure out why the sun disappeared, then it dawned on me.
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I was up late last night, trying to figure out why the sun disappeared, then it dawned on me.
Puns
Sandwich walk into a bar — the bartender said, sorry, we don’t serve food.
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Sandwich walk into a bar — the bartender said, sorry, we don’t serve food.
Puns
Midgets and dwarfs have very little in common.
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Midgets and dwarfs have very little in common.
Puns
I met the inventor of the trampoline. He’s an all round nice guy, but a bit jumpy.
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I met the inventor of the trampoline. He’s an all round nice guy, but a bit jumpy.
Puns
I’m getting tired of riding to work from New Jersey to Manhattan with my neighbors I guess I’m getting Carpool Tunnel syndrome
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I’m getting tired of riding to work from New Jersey to Manhattan with my neighbors I guess I’m getting Carpool Tunnel syndrome
Puns
What do you call a group of armed nuns enforcing the status quo? A force of habit
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What do you call a group of armed nuns enforcing the status quo? A force of habit
Puns
I was fighting with my wife over the arrangement of the dining-room furniture. I thought I had won but when I got home from work the tables were turned.
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I was fighting with my wife over the arrangement of the dining-room furniture. I thought I had won but when I got home from work the tables were turned.
Puns
Did you hear about that kidnapping in Texas? He woke up.
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Did you hear about that kidnapping in Texas? He woke up.
Puns
Knock knock. Who’s there? A little old lady. A little old lady who? Wow, I didn’t know you could yodel!
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Knock knock. Who’s there? A little old lady. A little old lady who? Wow, I didn’t know you could yodel!
Puns
What type of car does an African drive? A Sudan
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What type of car does an African drive? A Sudan