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Puns
What did the sign convention management do to the woman who kept pulling down their long signs? Banner.
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What did the sign convention management do to the woman who kept pulling down their long signs? Banner.
Puns
I went to a fancy dress party as a calendar. A guy came up to me and said – “Your days are numbered”
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I went to a fancy dress party as a calendar. A guy came up to me and said – “Your days are numbered”
Puns
Did you hear about the scarecrow who won a Nobel Prize? He’s out standing in his field.
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Did you hear about the scarecrow who won a Nobel Prize? He’s out standing in his field.
Puns
There are two hats on a hanger – The broken one says to the other: “You go on a head…”
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There are two hats on a hanger – The broken one says to the other: “You go on a head…”
Puns
Why did the vulture get kicked off the flight? He brought the wrong carrion.
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Why did the vulture get kicked off the flight? He brought the wrong carrion.
Puns
What did the girl say when the Statue of Liberty sneezed? God bless America.
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What did the girl say when the Statue of Liberty sneezed? God bless America.
Puns
What do you call an alligator detective wearing a waistcoat? An investigator.
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What do you call an alligator detective wearing a waistcoat? An investigator.
Puns
Why do Communists only drink coffee? Because proper tea is theft.
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Why do Communists only drink coffee? Because proper tea is theft.
Puns
Why did the milking stool only have three legs? Because the cow has the udder
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Why did the milking stool only have three legs? Because the cow has the udder
Puns
What did the snail say when he was riding on the back of the turtle? Weeeeeeeeee!
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What did the snail say when he was riding on the back of the turtle? Weeeeeeeeee!
Puns
How can you tell Russians are bad at driving stick? Cause their cars are always Stalin
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How can you tell Russians are bad at driving stick? Cause their cars are always Stalin
Puns
Why can’t you tell secrets in a corn field? Because there are too many ears.
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Why can’t you tell secrets in a corn field? Because there are too many ears.
Puns
What do you call a hot day in Canada? A Nova Scorcha!
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What do you call a hot day in Canada? A Nova Scorcha!
Puns
What is the Pope’s favorite type of woman? Nun
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What is the Pope’s favorite type of woman? Nun
Puns
Where did Napoleon keep his armies? In his sleevies.
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Where did Napoleon keep his armies? In his sleevies.
Puns
Cops are looking for a man who robbed a store using scissors. They say the guy could be a real danger–unless you have a rock.
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Cops are looking for a man who robbed a store using scissors. They say the guy could be a real danger–unless you have a rock.
Puns
Did you hear about the magic tractor? It went down a hill and turned into a field
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Did you hear about the magic tractor? It went down a hill and turned into a field
Puns
When Noah was loading the Ark, where did he put the bees? In the Ark-hives.
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When Noah was loading the Ark, where did he put the bees? In the Ark-hives.
Puns
Could you kill a monster just by throwing eggs at him? Of course – he’d be eggs-terminated.
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Could you kill a monster just by throwing eggs at him? Of course – he’d be eggs-terminated.
Puns
Puns
Soldier who fought in WWII hit with pepper spray
he is now a seasoned veteran.
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Soldier who fought in WWII hit with pepper spray
he is now a seasoned veteran.