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Puns
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet? Because they could spend years at C.
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Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet? Because they could spend years at C.
Puns
Why did the Storm Trooper decide to buy an Iphone? Because he couldn’t find the Droid he was looking for.
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Why did the Storm Trooper decide to buy an Iphone? Because he couldn’t find the Droid he was looking for.
Puns
I bought a muzzle for my pet duck. Nothing flashy, but it fits the bill.
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I bought a muzzle for my pet duck. Nothing flashy, but it fits the bill.
Puns
Puns
Well, I had to break up with the baker I’ve been dating, she was just too kneady.
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Well, I had to break up with the baker I’ve been dating, she was just too kneady.
Puns
What do you call a German with a bad attitude? A sour Kraut.
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What do you call a German with a bad attitude? A sour Kraut.
Puns
Did you hear about the constipated dyslexic? He had trouble moving his elbows.
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Did you hear about the constipated dyslexic? He had trouble moving his elbows.
Puns
Why are mountains so funny? Because they are hill-areas
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Why are mountains so funny? Because they are hill-areas
Puns
Dear lord, I thank you for these noodles I am about to eat. Ramen.
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Dear lord, I thank you for these noodles I am about to eat. Ramen.
Puns
I just got a job helping a one arm typist do capital letters
it’s shift work.
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I just got a job helping a one arm typist do capital letters
it’s shift work.
Puns
Guest: Why did you offer me a piece of candy? Hotel Clerk: You said you wanted the best suite in the hotel.
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Guest: Why did you offer me a piece of candy? Hotel Clerk: You said you wanted the best suite in the hotel.
Puns
A policeman sees two boys, one with batteries, the other with fireworks He charges the first boy and lets the other off.
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A policeman sees two boys, one with batteries, the other with fireworks He charges the first boy and lets the other off.
Puns
I saw a sausage fly by my window I must be going insane it was actually a bird. I think I’ve taken a tern for the wurst
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I saw a sausage fly by my window I must be going insane it was actually a bird. I think I’ve taken a tern for the wurst
Puns
What do you call little kids in Belgium? Brusselsprouts
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What do you call little kids in Belgium? Brusselsprouts
Puns
What happens when frogs park illegally? They get toad.
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What happens when frogs park illegally? They get toad.
Puns
Here’s two short jokes and a long joke: joke. joke. joooooooke.
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Here’s two short jokes and a long joke: joke. joke. joooooooke.
Puns
What do you call a relaxed redneck? A chillbilly.
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What do you call a relaxed redneck? A chillbilly.
Puns
Saw a homeless guy babbling about conspiracy theories that doesn’t really make sense…you could say it was a vague rant.
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Saw a homeless guy babbling about conspiracy theories that doesn’t really make sense…you could say it was a vague rant.
Puns
An infectious disease enters a bar…the bartender says,”we dont serve your kind here”. The disease replies, “well you’re not a very good host!”
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An infectious disease enters a bar…the bartender says,”we dont serve your kind here”. The disease replies, “well you’re not a very good host!”
Puns
What do you call a small, noisy dog? A sub-woofer.
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What do you call a small, noisy dog? A sub-woofer.
Puns
I once was bored so I decided to eat a clock to pass the time. It was very time consuming.
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I once was bored so I decided to eat a clock to pass the time. It was very time consuming.
Puns
What do you call a grammatically incorrect horse? An horse.
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What do you call a grammatically incorrect horse? An horse.
Puns
Have you ever seen those “Give a penny, take a penny” things at convenience stores? That makes no cents.
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Have you ever seen those “Give a penny, take a penny” things at convenience stores? That makes no cents.