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Puns
A man was seriously injured today after being run over by a car driving in reverse. Police are appealing for the driver to come forward.
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A man was seriously injured today after being run over by a car driving in reverse. Police are appealing for the driver to come forward.
Puns
I’m in a really boring geology class. I dust can’t sand it.
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I’m in a really boring geology class. I dust can’t sand it.
Puns
“What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?” “Sofishticated.”
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“What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?” “Sofishticated.”
Puns
Nine months isn’t really that long of a wait…It only feels like a maternity.
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Nine months isn’t really that long of a wait…It only feels like a maternity.
Puns
As a wheat farmer, I keep getting these strange headaches all the time. My doctor reckons it could be my-grains.
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As a wheat farmer, I keep getting these strange headaches all the time. My doctor reckons it could be my-grains.
Puns
My neighbor keeps telling me he wants to dig a deep hole in my backyard so I can get water. I know he means well.
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My neighbor keeps telling me he wants to dig a deep hole in my backyard so I can get water. I know he means well.
Puns
At my boxing club there is only one punch bag. I hate waiting for the punch line!
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At my boxing club there is only one punch bag. I hate waiting for the punch line!
Puns
I recently took a pole and found out that 99% of people in the tent were angry when it collapsed.
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I recently took a pole and found out that 99% of people in the tent were angry when it collapsed.
Puns
“What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?” “Sofishticated.”
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“What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?” “Sofishticated.”
Puns
Wife: What’s the purpose of reindeer? Husband: To make the grass grow sweetie.
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Wife: What’s the purpose of reindeer? Husband: To make the grass grow sweetie.
Puns
Someone broke in last night and stole all my anti-depressants. I hope they’re happy.
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Someone broke in last night and stole all my anti-depressants. I hope they’re happy.
Puns
I remember when I found out that I failed photography class… I was in a dark place at the time and felt so negative about myself.
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I remember when I found out that I failed photography class… I was in a dark place at the time and felt so negative about myself.
Puns
Who is the coolest guy in the hospital? The Ultrasound guy!
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Who is the coolest guy in the hospital? The Ultrasound guy!
Puns
I said to the gym instructor: “Can you teach me to do the splits?’ He said: “How flexible are you?” I said: “I can’t make Tuesdays.”
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I said to the gym instructor: “Can you teach me to do the splits?’ He said: “How flexible are you?” I said: “I can’t make Tuesdays.”
Puns
Both of my parents were dwarfs.. I’ll never forget how they struggled to put food on the table.
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Both of my parents were dwarfs.. I’ll never forget how they struggled to put food on the table.
Puns
I stumbled upon my dyslexic cow’s deepest secrets. They were in her dairy.
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I stumbled upon my dyslexic cow’s deepest secrets. They were in her dairy.
Puns
I hate the product hair salons use for perms…the smell makes my hair curl.
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I hate the product hair salons use for perms…the smell makes my hair curl.
Puns
What does a lion say to his pride before they go hunting? A: Let us prey.
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What does a lion say to his pride before they go hunting? A: Let us prey.
Puns
Scientist have successfully grown human vocal cords from stem cells in the lab. The results speak for themselves.
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Scientist have successfully grown human vocal cords from stem cells in the lab. The results speak for themselves.
Puns
Been trying to think of a tree pun, but I’m stumped.
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Been trying to think of a tree pun, but I’m stumped.
Puns
How can an Amish girl tell is she’s having a romantic candlelit dinner or just plan dinner?
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How can an Amish girl tell is she’s having a romantic candlelit dinner or just plan dinner?
Puns
Chefs are very smart. They use butter in everything so there’s no margarine for error.
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Chefs are very smart. They use butter in everything so there’s no margarine for error.
Puns
I’m practicing for a bug-eating contest and I’ve got butterflies in my stomach.
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I’m practicing for a bug-eating contest and I’ve got butterflies in my stomach.