Puns
Old MacDonald went high tech. A-i, A-i, Oh!
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Old MacDonald went high tech. A-i, A-i, Oh!
Puns
Today I met a Buddhist doctor that works on skin conditions. He’s a Dharmatologist.
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Today I met a Buddhist doctor that works on skin conditions. He’s a Dharmatologist.
Puns
When I lost the fingers on my right hand in an accident, I asked my doctor, “Will I still be able to write with it?” He replied, “Probably, but I
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When I lost the fingers on my right hand in an accident, I asked my doctor, “Will I still be able to write with it?” He replied, “Probably, but I wouldn’t count on it.”
Puns
My friend has asked me to be Usher at his wedding. I said I’d try and learn couple of his songs but I wont be able to do the dance
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My friend has asked me to be Usher at his wedding. I said I’d try and learn couple of his songs but I wont be able to do the dance routines.
Puns
A man goes into the doctor and says “I think I have hearing problems” Doctor: Can you describe the symptoms? Man: Sure! Homers fat and Marge has blue hair.
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A man goes into the doctor and says “I think I have hearing problems” Doctor: Can you describe the symptoms? Man: Sure! Homers fat and Marge has blue hair.
Puns
Confucius says…”Man who stands in front of car gets tired, man who stands behind car gets exhausted.”
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Confucius says…”Man who stands in front of car gets tired, man who stands behind car gets exhausted.”
Puns
Why do Norwegian warships have a barcode on the side of them? So that they can Scandinavian.
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Why do Norwegian warships have a barcode on the side of them? So that they can Scandinavian.
Puns
I’d give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
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I’d give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
Puns
A man came back from a long business trip to find that his son had a new $300 mountain bike. “How’d you get that, son?” “By hiking.” “Hiking?” “Yeah, every
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A man came back from a long business trip to find that his son had a new $300 mountain bike. “How’d you get that, son?” “By hiking.” “Hiking?” “Yeah, every night, Mom’s boss came over and gave me $20 to take a hike.”
Puns
Who’s idea was it to put “s” in the word “Lisp?!”
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Who’s idea was it to put “s” in the word “Lisp?!”
Puns
Newspaper: “Local Arrested for Stealing Things From a Barn. He’s Out on Bale.”
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Newspaper: “Local Arrested for Stealing Things From a Barn. He’s Out on Bale.”
Puns
Doctor, Doctor! I have a virus that makes my left hand constantly butter toast. How can I stop it from spreading.
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Doctor, Doctor! I have a virus that makes my left hand constantly butter toast. How can I stop it from spreading.
Puns
What did the Indian kid say to his mother when he left for school? Mum bai.
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What did the Indian kid say to his mother when he left for school? Mum bai.
Puns
Throwing acid is wrong – in some people’s eyes.
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Throwing acid is wrong – in some people’s eyes.
Puns
I made soup entirely from ingredients extracted from the atmosphere… It was a broth of fresh air.
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I made soup entirely from ingredients extracted from the atmosphere… It was a broth of fresh air.
Puns
I finally caught the person at work who has been stealing my beetroot ….caught him red handed.
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I finally caught the person at work who has been stealing my beetroot ….caught him red handed.
Puns
I had a hen who could count her own eggs. She was a mathemachicken.
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I had a hen who could count her own eggs. She was a mathemachicken.
Puns
Why do mathematicians hate the U.S.? Because it’s indivisible.
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Why do mathematicians hate the U.S.? Because it’s indivisible.
Puns
What do you call two guys that hang out by the window? Kurt & Rod.
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What do you call two guys that hang out by the window? Kurt & Rod.
Puns
While out hiking, I came to a fenced-in pasture with a huge bull. The sign on the fence read: “It’s okay with me for you to cross this field for
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While out hiking, I came to a fenced-in pasture with a huge bull. The sign on the fence read: “It’s okay with me for you to cross this field for free. But the bull charges!”
Puns
These are my summer clothes. Summer paid for, summer not.
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These are my summer clothes. Summer paid for, summer not.
Puns
When the king farted, why did nobody laugh? Because noble gases don’t cause reactions.
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When the king farted, why did nobody laugh? Because noble gases don’t cause reactions.
Puns
Almost all garden gnomes have red hats. It’s a little-gnome fact.
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Almost all garden gnomes have red hats. It’s a little-gnome fact.
Puns
I just tripped and dropped a basket of freshly ironed clothes. All I could do was watch it unfold.
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I just tripped and dropped a basket of freshly ironed clothes. All I could do was watch it unfold.
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