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Puns
How do you help an injured pig? With an oinkment.
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How do you help an injured pig? With an oinkment.
Puns
What animal makes it hard to carry on a conversation? A goat, because he always wants to butt in.
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What animal makes it hard to carry on a conversation? A goat, because he always wants to butt in.
Puns
A psychotherapist returned from a conference in the Rocky mountains, where the delegates spent more time on the icy ski slopes than attending lectures and seminars. When she got back,
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A psychotherapist returned from a conference in the Rocky mountains, where the delegates spent more time on the icy ski slopes than attending lectures and seminars. When she got back, her husband asked her, “So, how did it go?” “Fine,” she replied, “but I’ve never seen so many Freudians slip.”
Puns
Q: What did the King name the extra knight? A: Sir Plus.
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Q: What did the King name the extra knight? A: Sir Plus.
Puns
Most appetizers just pass by, but mozzarella sticks.
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Most appetizers just pass by, but mozzarella sticks.
Puns
What do scientists use to freshen their breath? Experi-mints
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What do scientists use to freshen their breath? Experi-mints
Puns
Patient: I get scared every time I think of big animals. Therapist: We have pills for that, but bear in mind… Patient: AAUUGGHH!!
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Patient: I get scared every time I think of big animals. Therapist: We have pills for that, but bear in mind… Patient: AAUUGGHH!!
Puns
Your karate master is offering you a fruity drink, why should you duck? It’s a fruit punch.
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Your karate master is offering you a fruity drink, why should you duck? It’s a fruit punch.
Puns
Why does a Moon-rock taste better than an Earth-rock? Because it’s a little meteor.
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Why does a Moon-rock taste better than an Earth-rock? Because it’s a little meteor.
Puns
Puns
I took the wife for a quick trip to the Caribbean. Jamaica? No, she came of her own accord.
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I took the wife for a quick trip to the Caribbean. Jamaica? No, she came of her own accord.
Puns
Where do young cows eat lunch? In the calf-ateria.
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Where do young cows eat lunch? In the calf-ateria.
Puns
What do you call a cow on a trampoline? A milk shake!
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What do you call a cow on a trampoline? A milk shake!
Puns
My wife said she had had enough of me because i couldn’t got my directions mixed up. So i just packed my bags and right.
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My wife said she had had enough of me because i couldn’t got my directions mixed up. So i just packed my bags and right.
Puns
My twin brother and I got a barber appointment and decided to shave off our beards. He chose the electric clippers, but I got the straight blade. Despite being twins,
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My twin brother and I got a barber appointment and decided to shave off our beards. He chose the electric clippers, but I got the straight blade. Despite being twins, we were razed differently.
Puns
As a doctor, I never make a joke about an unvaccinated baby, but I’ve decided to give it a shot.
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As a doctor, I never make a joke about an unvaccinated baby, but I’ve decided to give it a shot.
Puns
I sent my hearing aids in for repair last week. I haven’t heard anything since.
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I sent my hearing aids in for repair last week. I haven’t heard anything since.
Puns
“Danny,” asked Mrs. Waters, “What’s usually used as a conductor of electricity?” “Why?..er…” “Correct, wire. Now tell me, what is the unit of electrical power?” “The what??” “That’s absolutely right.
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“Danny,” asked Mrs. Waters, “What’s usually used as a conductor of electricity?” “Why?..er…” “Correct, wire. Now tell me, what is the unit of electrical power?” “The what??” “That’s absolutely right. The watt.”
Puns
Puns
I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks.
Puns
I dig, you dig, he digs, she digs we dig, they dig. It’s not a long poem, but it’s deep.
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I dig, you dig, he digs, she digs we dig, they dig. It’s not a long poem, but it’s deep.
Puns
It’s only a murder of crows if there’s probable caws.
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It’s only a murder of crows if there’s probable caws.