Puns
My sister keeps judging people by their sound systems. I told her to stop being so stereo-typical.
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My sister keeps judging people by their sound systems. I told her to stop being so stereo-typical.
Puns
What kind of vehicle likes to flirt a lot? A pickup truck.
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What kind of vehicle likes to flirt a lot? A pickup truck.
Puns
The lady judge was flirting with me…I guess that’s why it’s called a court room.
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The lady judge was flirting with me…I guess that’s why it’s called a court room.
Puns
Where are average things manufactured? The satisfactory.
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Where are average things manufactured? The satisfactory.
Puns
With my best poker face, I told my wife that I invented a new name for a steep cliff. She knew it was just a bluff.
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With my best poker face, I told my wife that I invented a new name for a steep cliff. She knew it was just a bluff.
Puns
Did you hear about the psychic midget who escaped from prison? He’s a small medium at large.
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Did you hear about the psychic midget who escaped from prison? He’s a small medium at large.
Puns
My family just celebrated the 200th anniversary of owning a buffalo farm. That’s right, it’s our bison-tennial.
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My family just celebrated the 200th anniversary of owning a buffalo farm. That’s right, it’s our bison-tennial.
Puns
My girlfriend is in a band, and for our anniversary I bought her a new drum kit. It was a cymbal of my love.
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My girlfriend is in a band, and for our anniversary I bought her a new drum kit. It was a cymbal of my love.
Puns
Did you hear about the mother who gave birth to her baby while she was in the sky? I guess you can say the baby was airborne.
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Did you hear about the mother who gave birth to her baby while she was in the sky? I guess you can say the baby was airborne.
Puns
You shouldn’t kiss anyone on January 1st because it’s only the first date.
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You shouldn’t kiss anyone on January 1st because it’s only the first date.
Puns
I read a book on prime numbers to my son, and I had his undivided attention.
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I read a book on prime numbers to my son, and I had his undivided attention.
Puns
My wife kicked me out of the house because she’s tired of my South American animal puns. I told her, “Alpaca my bag.”
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My wife kicked me out of the house because she’s tired of my South American animal puns. I told her, “Alpaca my bag.”
Puns
What did the bald man exclaim when he received a comb for a present? “Thanks, I’ll never part with it!”
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What did the bald man exclaim when he received a comb for a present? “Thanks, I’ll never part with it!”
Puns
People laugh at my jokes in the office but, during Zoom meetings, they don’t crack a smile. Evidently, I’m not remotely funny!
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People laugh at my jokes in the office but, during Zoom meetings, they don’t crack a smile. Evidently, I’m not remotely funny!
Puns
My son wanted a proper drum kit for his birthday but I got him a miniature one. I’m now expecting wee percussions.
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My son wanted a proper drum kit for his birthday but I got him a miniature one. I’m now expecting wee percussions.
Puns
Q: What do you call it when worms take over the world? A: Global Worming.
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Q: What do you call it when worms take over the world? A: Global Worming.
Puns
I’m trying to convince my wife that I want a Segway for my birthday. But every time I bring it up, she changes the topic.
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I’m trying to convince my wife that I want a Segway for my birthday. But every time I bring it up, she changes the topic.
Puns
My uncle is a famous conductor…struck by lightning 7 times.
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My uncle is a famous conductor…struck by lightning 7 times.
Puns
I threw an engagement ring at my girlfriend, but she dodged out of the way. It was a near Mrs.
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I threw an engagement ring at my girlfriend, but she dodged out of the way. It was a near Mrs.
Puns
To change centimeters to meters, you? Take out centi.
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To change centimeters to meters, you? Take out centi.
Puns
“I asked my trainer at the gym if I could start shadow boxing. He said, “Knock yourself out!”
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“I asked my trainer at the gym if I could start shadow boxing. He said, “Knock yourself out!”
Puns
What happened when the farmer buried the money in the soil? He made the soil rich.
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What happened when the farmer buried the money in the soil? He made the soil rich.
Puns
How does the barber cut the moon’s hair? E-clipse it
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How does the barber cut the moon’s hair? E-clipse it
Puns
Q. Explain the phrase ‘free press’. A. When your mum irons your trousers for you.
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Q. Explain the phrase ‘free press’. A. When your mum irons your trousers for you.
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