Home
Social Posts
Always be kind. You never know who might own a hot tub.
Read More
Always be kind. You never know who might own a hot tub.
Social Posts
I asked the waiter if he had frog legs. He replied, “No, but I wished I did. This place keeps me hopping.”
Read More
I asked the waiter if he had frog legs. He replied, “No, but I wished I did. This place keeps me hopping.”
Social Posts
Did you know “DIET” stands for “Did I Eat That?”
Read More
Did you know “DIET” stands for “Did I Eat That?”
Social Posts
I’m currently boycotting any company that sells items I can’t afford.
Read More
I’m currently boycotting any company that sells items I can’t afford.
Social Posts
My kids are so open to experiencing culture. They’ll try anything, from chicken tenders at an Indian restaurant to chicken tenders at a Mexican restaurant.
Read More
My kids are so open to experiencing culture. They’ll try anything, from chicken tenders at an Indian restaurant to chicken tenders at a Mexican restaurant.
Social Posts
You’ve never actually seen a whole movie because you’re constantly blinking.
Read More
You’ve never actually seen a whole movie because you’re constantly blinking.
Social Posts
If you dug a hole through the center of the earth, and jumped in, would you stay at the center because of gravity?
Read More
If you dug a hole through the center of the earth, and jumped in, would you stay at the center because of gravity?
Social Posts
In China do the labels read, Made by someone you know?
Read More
In China do the labels read, Made by someone you know?
Social Posts
Laziness Level: I get jealous when it’s bedtime in other countries.
Read More
Laziness Level: I get jealous when it’s bedtime in other countries.
Social Posts
I havent tried yoga, but I have tried bending over to pick up my keys. So Im pretty sure that yoga is not for me.
Read More
I havent tried yoga, but I have tried bending over to pick up my keys. So Im pretty sure that yoga is not for me.
Social Posts
I got lost in your eyes. But I also get lost in most department stores, so I wouldn’t read too much into it.
Read More
I got lost in your eyes. But I also get lost in most department stores, so I wouldn’t read too much into it.
Social Posts
Do movie producers still say lights, camera, and action when it is a dark scene?
Read More
Do movie producers still say lights, camera, and action when it is a dark scene?
Social Posts
A recent worldwide survey showed that out of 2,146,703,436 people, 94% were too lazy to actually read that number.
Read More
A recent worldwide survey showed that out of 2,146,703,436 people, 94% were too lazy to actually read that number.
Social Posts
Do astronauts change their clocks when they move over different time zones in space?
Read More
Do astronauts change their clocks when they move over different time zones in space?
Social Posts
I have decided to stop exercising and just learn Photoshop.
Read More
I have decided to stop exercising and just learn Photoshop.
Social Posts
To save time, I now have Amazon deliver my kids new coats directly to their school’s Lost and Found.
Read More
To save time, I now have Amazon deliver my kids new coats directly to their school’s Lost and Found.
Social Posts
If you win three games of Twister in a row you’re automatically a yoga instructor.
Read More
If you win three games of Twister in a row you’re automatically a yoga instructor.
Social Posts
Balloons are so weird…”Happy Birthday, here’s a plastic sack of my breath.”
Read More
Balloons are so weird…”Happy Birthday, here’s a plastic sack of my breath.”
Social Posts
When you meet somebody for the first time, youre not meeting them. Youre meeting their representative.
Read More
When you meet somebody for the first time, youre not meeting them. Youre meeting their representative.
Social Posts
As I was coming back from Canada, I stopped at the border and the guy asked, “Do you have any firearms with you?” I answered, “What do you need?”
Read More
As I was coming back from Canada, I stopped at the border and the guy asked, “Do you have any firearms with you?” I answered, “What do you need?”
Social Posts
“The tooth fairy teaches children that they can sell body parts for money.”
Read More
“The tooth fairy teaches children that they can sell body parts for money.”
Social Posts
If you put a chameleon in a room full of mirrors, what color would it turn?
Read More
If you put a chameleon in a room full of mirrors, what color would it turn?
Social Posts
Being on the edge isn’t safe but the view is better.
Read More
Being on the edge isn’t safe but the view is better.
Social Posts
Luckily, all my passwords are protected by amnesia.
Read More
Luckily, all my passwords are protected by amnesia.