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How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
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How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
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“Heard a woman in Target ask her kid, “Is that a smart choice to make with your money?” – “Now I’m wishing she would follow me around the store, too.”
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“Heard a woman in Target ask her kid, “Is that a smart choice to make with your money?” – “Now I’m wishing she would follow me around the store, too.”
Social Posts
The problem with life is, by the time you want to read a book, your library card has expired.
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The problem with life is, by the time you want to read a book, your library card has expired.
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I will have enough money for the rest of my life. Of course, if I don’t buy and eat anything.
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I will have enough money for the rest of my life. Of course, if I don’t buy and eat anything.
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If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it.
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If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it.
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I’m having an introvert party and you’re all not invited.
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I’m having an introvert party and you’re all not invited.
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If you had a three story house and were in the second floor, isn’t it possible that you can be upstairs and downstairs at the same time?
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If you had a three story house and were in the second floor, isn’t it possible that you can be upstairs and downstairs at the same time?
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My dad was amazing. He raised five boys. All by himself. Without the rest of us knowing.
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My dad was amazing. He raised five boys. All by himself. Without the rest of us knowing.
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Whenever I clean my closet I take a GPS with me, so I can find my way back.
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Whenever I clean my closet I take a GPS with me, so I can find my way back.
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I found my wife’s Tinder profile. I’m so angry about her lies! She is not “fun to be around.”
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I found my wife’s Tinder profile. I’m so angry about her lies! She is not “fun to be around.”
Social Posts
I’ve never once been able to explain my car trouble to a mechanic without resorting to sound effects.
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I’ve never once been able to explain my car trouble to a mechanic without resorting to sound effects.
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Smoothies are actually soups made from fruits.
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Smoothies are actually soups made from fruits.
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I like to finish other people’s sentences because…my version is better.
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I like to finish other people’s sentences because…my version is better.
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That last tooth brushing before heading to the dentist is the adult version of cramming for finals.
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That last tooth brushing before heading to the dentist is the adult version of cramming for finals.
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I’m the type of husband that helps his wife look for her missing chocolate that I ate.
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I’m the type of husband that helps his wife look for her missing chocolate that I ate.
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Corn syrup season is back…farmers will be busy draining the syrup from the corn.
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Corn syrup season is back…farmers will be busy draining the syrup from the corn.
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If I had a dollar for every woman who called me handsome…I’d have a dollar. Thanks Grandma.
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If I had a dollar for every woman who called me handsome…I’d have a dollar. Thanks Grandma.
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I love my six pack so much, I protect is with a layer of fat.
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I love my six pack so much, I protect is with a layer of fat.
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Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
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Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
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When I was young, I was poor. After years of hard work…I am no longer young.
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When I was young, I was poor. After years of hard work…I am no longer young.
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The last airline I flew charged for everything. Except for the bad service. That was free.
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The last airline I flew charged for everything. Except for the bad service. That was free.
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Been feeling a little moody and run down lately, so I googled my symptoms to see what I might have. It’s kids. I have kids.
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Been feeling a little moody and run down lately, so I googled my symptoms to see what I might have. It’s kids. I have kids.