Puns
I like jokes about stationery, but rulers are where I draw the line.
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I like jokes about stationery, but rulers are where I draw the line.
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587

Puns
Just found out the company that produces yardsticks won’t be making them any longer.
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Just found out the company that produces yardsticks won’t be making them any longer.
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532

Puns
The other day, I heard that a good friend of mine was outside during a thunderstorm and got struck by lightning. I was a bit shocked, but not as much
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The other day, I heard that a good friend of mine was outside during a thunderstorm and got struck by lightning. I was a bit shocked, but not as much as he was.
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360

Puns
Not all math puns are terrible. Just sum.
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Not all math puns are terrible. Just sum.
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429

Puns
What’s it called when you put a cow in an elevator? Raising the steaks.
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What’s it called when you put a cow in an elevator? Raising the steaks.
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90

Puns
What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
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What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
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225

Puns
Noah was on the ark for 40 days and 40 nights, so what did he use for light? Flood lamps.
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Noah was on the ark for 40 days and 40 nights, so what did he use for light? Flood lamps.
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197

Puns
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
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Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
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241

Puns
Why can you never trust spiders? Because they post stuff on the web.
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Why can you never trust spiders? Because they post stuff on the web.
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998

Puns
Why did the computer sneeze? It had a virus.
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Why did the computer sneeze? It had a virus.
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611

Puns
What’s it called when you steal somebody’s coffee? A mugging.
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What’s it called when you steal somebody’s coffee? A mugging.
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436

Puns
How does NASA organize a party? They planet.
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How does NASA organize a party? They planet.
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893

Puns
Spelling is tough. Misplace two letters and your sentence is urined.
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Spelling is tough. Misplace two letters and your sentence is urined.
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636

Puns
Applied for a job extracting coal but they said I didn’t have the right experience. Never mined.
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Applied for a job extracting coal but they said I didn’t have the right experience. Never mined.
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723

Puns
If a child refuses to nap, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
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If a child refuses to nap, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
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791

Puns
Velcro is a complete rip-off.
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Velcro is a complete rip-off.
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329

Puns
He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.
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He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.
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144

Puns
I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
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I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
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56

Puns
Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.
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Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.
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854

Puns
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
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I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
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99

Puns
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
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I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
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720

Short Jokes
What should we call this giant advertising board? PHIL: A philboard BILL: I have a better idea
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What should we call this giant advertising board? PHIL: A philboard BILL: I have a better idea
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816

Puns
I once dated an apostrophe. Too possessive.
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I once dated an apostrophe. Too possessive.
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458

Puns
Isn’t the Grand Canyon just gorges?
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Isn’t the Grand Canyon just gorges?
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1085

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