Puns
How are coffee beans like teenagers? Both are always getting grounded.
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How are coffee beans like teenagers? Both are always getting grounded.
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678

Puns
What does a baby computer call his father? Data.
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What does a baby computer call his father? Data.
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287

Puns
He wears glasses during math because it improves division.
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He wears glasses during math because it improves division.
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624

Short Jokes
My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.
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My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.
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770

Short Jokes
My friend has this weird habit of walking into a party and writing his name on the wall with a marker. That’s his signature move.
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My friend has this weird habit of walking into a party and writing his name on the wall with a marker. That’s his signature move.
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64

Puns
What do farmers do when they throw a party? They turnip the beets.
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What do farmers do when they throw a party? They turnip the beets.
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990

Puns
What kind of award does the world’s top dentist get? A little plaque.
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What kind of award does the world’s top dentist get? A little plaque.
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1123

Puns
I knew a guy who collected candy canes, they were all in mint condition.
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I knew a guy who collected candy canes, they were all in mint condition.
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335

Puns
I’m going to stand outside. If anyone asks where I am, tell them I am outstanding.
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I’m going to stand outside. If anyone asks where I am, tell them I am outstanding.
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1084

Puns
I really like pita bread, in fact — it’s second to Naan.
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I really like pita bread, in fact — it’s second to Naan.
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854

Puns
A man was found dead in a vat of ground chickpeas. Police are considering it a hummus-cide.
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A man was found dead in a vat of ground chickpeas. Police are considering it a hummus-cide.
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840

Puns
A red and blue ship collided in the Mediterranean. The survivors were marooned.
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A red and blue ship collided in the Mediterranean. The survivors were marooned.
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213

Puns
Knock Knock. Who’s there? Doorbell repairman.
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Knock Knock. Who’s there? Doorbell repairman.
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651

Puns
I’m so good at sleeping in, I can do it with my eyes closed.
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I’m so good at sleeping in, I can do it with my eyes closed.
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532

Puns
Why did the ghost go to rehab? He was addicted to boos
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Why did the ghost go to rehab? He was addicted to boos
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866

Social Posts
I invented a new word: Plagiarism.
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I invented a new word: Plagiarism.
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1030

Puns
Q: Why was King Tut so irresistible? A: It was his pharaoh-mones.
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Q: Why was King Tut so irresistible? A: It was his pharaoh-mones.
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478

Short Jokes
I don’t like people who use big words just to make themselves look perspicacious.
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I don’t like people who use big words just to make themselves look perspicacious.
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1229

Puns
How did Hitler tie his laces? In little Nazis.
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How did Hitler tie his laces? In little Nazis.
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1131

Puns
Why do ambassadors never get sick? Diplomatic immunity.
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Why do ambassadors never get sick? Diplomatic immunity.
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928

Puns
Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!
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Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!
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995

Social Posts
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
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653

Puns
Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
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Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
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616

Puns
What do you call an iPhone that isn’t kidding around? Dead Siri-ous.
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What do you call an iPhone that isn’t kidding around? Dead Siri-ous.
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828

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