Home
Puns
I think I want a job cleaning mirrors — it’s just something I can see myself doing.
Read More
I think I want a job cleaning mirrors — it’s just something I can see myself doing.
Short Jokes
“I’ll have a margarita, please.” “I’ll need to see your ID.” “Wow, you think I look like a teenager?” “No. I was going to offer you our senior citizen discount!”
Read More
“I’ll have a margarita, please.” “I’ll need to see your ID.” “Wow, you think I look like a teenager?” “No. I was going to offer you our senior citizen discount!”
Puns
My friend Phillip lost his lip in an industrial accident. Now we call him Phil.
Read More
My friend Phillip lost his lip in an industrial accident. Now we call him Phil.
Social Posts
Be kind to everyone. You never know who lost an argument wiht a 3 year old today.
Read More
Be kind to everyone. You never know who lost an argument wiht a 3 year old today.
Social Posts
Laugh and the whole world laughs with you. Laugh manically for now apparent reason and they tend to leave you alone.
Read More
Laugh and the whole world laughs with you. Laugh manically for now apparent reason and they tend to leave you alone.
Puns
I took over a manure business without having any training. I just stepped right into it.
Read More
I took over a manure business without having any training. I just stepped right into it.
Social Posts
Your table is ready. Kath will now show you to your table by speed walking through our busy dining room. Try to keep up.
Read More
Your table is ready. Kath will now show you to your table by speed walking through our busy dining room. Try to keep up.
Social Posts
You kids have it easy. Before the Internet it took a lot of effort to get upset about things we had no idea existed.
Read More
You kids have it easy. Before the Internet it took a lot of effort to get upset about things we had no idea existed.
Social Posts
No pollen formed against me shall prosper. Bendrylations 24:7
Read More
No pollen formed against me shall prosper. Bendrylations 24:7
Social Posts
After 6 weeks, $140 in supplies, and daily watering, we’re only 3 to 4 weeks away from enjoying a single 25 cent vegetable from our garden.
Read More
After 6 weeks, $140 in supplies, and daily watering, we’re only 3 to 4 weeks away from enjoying a single 25 cent vegetable from our garden.
Social Posts
My son wanted to know what it was like to be a parent, so I woke him up at 2am to tell him my sock came off.
Read More
My son wanted to know what it was like to be a parent, so I woke him up at 2am to tell him my sock came off.
Social Posts
Just blocked someone for correcting my spelling and it feelded great.
Read More
Just blocked someone for correcting my spelling and it feelded great.
Social Posts
Please don’t ride with me if you’re going to grab the dash or scream every time we run off the road. It makes me nervous.
Read More
Please don’t ride with me if you’re going to grab the dash or scream every time we run off the road. It makes me nervous.
Social Posts
Due to current food prices, the 5 second rule has been extended to 15 seconds.
Read More
Due to current food prices, the 5 second rule has been extended to 15 seconds.
Short Jokes
I asked my wife what she wanted for our anniversary, and she said “a divorce”. I said, “I wasn’t planning on spending that much.”
Read More
I asked my wife what she wanted for our anniversary, and she said “a divorce”. I said, “I wasn’t planning on spending that much.”
Social Posts
Why do people say ‘soshecurity’ instead of the actual words ‘social security’?
Read More
Why do people say ‘soshecurity’ instead of the actual words ‘social security’?
Social Posts
I can’t believe I use to swing so high on the playground, then jump off. Those knees were fresh outta the box.
Read More
I can’t believe I use to swing so high on the playground, then jump off. Those knees were fresh outta the box.
Social Posts
I always try to remember that some things are better left unsaid, but it’s usually after I already said it.
Read More
I always try to remember that some things are better left unsaid, but it’s usually after I already said it.
Social Posts
I told my daughter to check her attitude, and she looks at me and said, “For complaints about attitude please contact the manufacturer.” Well played, well played.
Read More
I told my daughter to check her attitude, and she looks at me and said, “For complaints about attitude please contact the manufacturer.” Well played, well played.
Social Posts
I care deeply about like 5 people in my life, and about 400-600 dogs on the Internet that I’ve never met.
Read More
I care deeply about like 5 people in my life, and about 400-600 dogs on the Internet that I’ve never met.
Social Posts
I wonder how many people read my posts and think, “I hope he’s getting the professional help he so desperately needs.”
Read More
I wonder how many people read my posts and think, “I hope he’s getting the professional help he so desperately needs.”
Social Posts
Help, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!’ doesn’t seem so funny anymore.
Read More
Help, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!’ doesn’t seem so funny anymore.
Puns
Teacher: Describe yourself in 4 words. Student: Bad at counting.
Read More
Teacher: Describe yourself in 4 words. Student: Bad at counting.
Puns
Did you see the story about the missing dolphin? I’d tell you more about it but there’s really no porpoise…
Read More
Did you see the story about the missing dolphin? I’d tell you more about it but there’s really no porpoise…