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Puns
My brother is an immigration officer. He and I disagree on almost every topic. But he usually sees where I’m coming from.
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My brother is an immigration officer. He and I disagree on almost every topic. But he usually sees where I’m coming from.
Short Jokes
Not to brag, but I have this weird talent in guessing what’s inside a wrapped present. It’s a gift.
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Not to brag, but I have this weird talent in guessing what’s inside a wrapped present. It’s a gift.
Short Jokes
I actually saw two catholic sisters walking into a bar and thought what a great opportunity for a joke. Unfortunately I could think of none.
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I actually saw two catholic sisters walking into a bar and thought what a great opportunity for a joke. Unfortunately I could think of none.
Long Jokes
A kindergarten teacher handed out a coloring page to her class. On it was a picture of a duck holding an umbrella.The teacher told her class to color the duck
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A kindergarten teacher handed out a coloring page to her class. On it was a picture of a duck holding an umbrella.The teacher told her class to color the duck in yellow and the umbrella green. Little Johnny, the class rebel, colored the duck in a bright fire-truck red.After seeing this, the teacher asked him, “Little Johnny, how many times have you seen a red duck?”Little Johnny replied, “The same number of times I’ve seen a duck holding an umbrella.”
Short Jokes
There isn’t really any training for garbagemen. They just pick things up as they go.
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There isn’t really any training for garbagemen. They just pick things up as they go.
Long Jokes
An airplane encountered some turbulence, it started juddering and rocking noticeably from side to side. The flight crew wheeled out the drinks cart to keep the passengers calm.The attendant asked
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An airplane encountered some turbulence, it started juddering and rocking noticeably from side to side. The flight crew wheeled out the drinks cart to keep the passengers calm.The attendant asked a business man, “Would you like a drink?”“Why not,” he replied unkindly. “I’ll have whatever the pilot’s been having.”
Long Jokes
A married couple was celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary. At the party everybody wanted to know how they managed to stay married so long in this day and age. The
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A married couple was celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary. At the party everybody wanted to know how they managed to stay married so long in this day and age. The husband responded, “When we were first married we came to an agreement – I would make all the major decisions and my wife would make all the minor decisions. And now, after 60 years of marriage, I can truthfully say that we have never needed to make a MAJOR decision.
Puns
I got a reversible jacket for Christmas. I can’t wait to see how it turns out.
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I got a reversible jacket for Christmas. I can’t wait to see how it turns out.
Short Jokes
Why did Star Wars, episodes 4, 5, and 6 come out before episodes 1, 2, and 3? Because in charge of release dates, Yoda was.
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Why did Star Wars, episodes 4, 5, and 6 come out before episodes 1, 2, and 3? Because in charge of release dates, Yoda was.
Long Jokes
Someone knocked at my door last evening. When I opened it, I saw a guy from Domino’s holding a chicken pepperoni pizza with extra cheese and onion rings.”I haven’t ordered
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Someone knocked at my door last evening. When I opened it, I saw a guy from Domino’s holding a chicken pepperoni pizza with extra cheese and onion rings.”I haven’t ordered any pizza,” I said. “This must be a mistake.””No, it’s not,” he replied. “Your neighbor forgot his Facebook password and wanted to show you what he was eating for dinner.”
Long Jokes
Kofi walks in to a restaurant and wants to order chicken. Unfortunately, English is not his first language and he can’t remember how to say chicken in English. Kofi sees
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Kofi walks in to a restaurant and wants to order chicken. Unfortunately, English is not his first language and he can’t remember how to say chicken in English. Kofi sees the guy at the table next to him with a plate with 4 boiled eggs on it. Kofi points to the plate of eggs and in broken English says to the waiter, “I want their mother!”
Long Jokes
Two not so bright guys looking for work arrive at a train station and ask for one-way tickets. The ticketing agent looked through his schedule, but couldn’t find the place
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Two not so bright guys looking for work arrive at a train station and ask for one-way tickets. The ticketing agent looked through his schedule, but couldn’t find the place they wanted to go. “But you must be able to find it,” says one. “We read in the papers that there are thousands of jobs in Jeopardy.”
Puns
Did you know the first French fries weren’t actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
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Did you know the first French fries weren’t actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
Puns
I’m in a really boring geology class. I dust can’t sand it.
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I’m in a really boring geology class. I dust can’t sand it.
Short Jokes
“My ancestry goes back all the way to Alexander the Great,” said Christine. She then turned to Miriam and asked, “How far back does your family go?””I don’t know,” replied
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“My ancestry goes back all the way to Alexander the Great,” said Christine. She then turned to Miriam and asked, “How far back does your family go?””I don’t know,” replied Miriam, “all of our records were lost in the flood.”
Puns
Once upon a time, there was a fairy called Nuff. Fair enough.
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Once upon a time, there was a fairy called Nuff. Fair enough.
Puns
My geometry tutor told me, “A six-sided polygon is called a hexagon, a five-sided one is called a pentagon.” “What about two sided ones?” I asked. “They don’t exist,” was
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My geometry tutor told me, “A six-sided polygon is called a hexagon, a five-sided one is called a pentagon.” “What about two sided ones?” I asked. “They don’t exist,” was his response. “I beg to differ! I think we should just let bi-gons be bi-gons.
Puns
Why are great artists so famous? They can always draw a crowd.
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Why are great artists so famous? They can always draw a crowd.
Puns
Why did the painter hate drawing skies? Because every time he tried, he always blue it.
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Why did the painter hate drawing skies? Because every time he tried, he always blue it.
Puns
Elevator jokes are funny on so many different levels.
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Elevator jokes are funny on so many different levels.
Short Jokes
My partners in the geology lab were upset about not sharing my earthquake data. It’s completely my fault though.
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My partners in the geology lab were upset about not sharing my earthquake data. It’s completely my fault though.
Short Jokes
School teacher sends home a note with student. The note reads, ”Your son is an obedient and bright student, but spends too much time talking to girls.” Mother sends a
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School teacher sends home a note with student. The note reads, ”Your son is an obedient and bright student, but spends too much time talking to girls.” Mother sends a note back the following day, ”Please advise a solution. Father has the same problem.”
Puns
I’m in a really boring geology class. I dust can’t sand it.
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I’m in a really boring geology class. I dust can’t sand it.
Puns
A man was seriously injured today after being run over by a car driving in reverse. Police are appealing for the driver to come forward.
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A man was seriously injured today after being run over by a car driving in reverse. Police are appealing for the driver to come forward.