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Puns
I was up late last night, trying to figure out why the sun disappeared, then it dawned on me.
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I was up late last night, trying to figure out why the sun disappeared, then it dawned on me.
Puns
A frog can leap higher than a house — partly because of the strength of its hind legs, but also because houses have difficulty jumping at all.
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A frog can leap higher than a house — partly because of the strength of its hind legs, but also because houses have difficulty jumping at all.
Social Posts
I can’t afford Disney World so we go to the biggest hill on my street and my kids wait an hour before I roll them down in my office chair.
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I can’t afford Disney World so we go to the biggest hill on my street and my kids wait an hour before I roll them down in my office chair.
Puns
I was told if I got robbed when I was camping, it would invalidate my insurance. They said if my tent got stolen, I’d no longer be covered.
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I was told if I got robbed when I was camping, it would invalidate my insurance. They said if my tent got stolen, I’d no longer be covered.
Social Posts
It’s a shock to me that people actually pay their student loans. That’s a bill I gave to Jesus
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It’s a shock to me that people actually pay their student loans. That’s a bill I gave to Jesus
Puns
A termite walks into a bar and says, “Hey, is the bar tender here?”
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A termite walks into a bar and says, “Hey, is the bar tender here?”
Puns
Where did the fortune-teller go on her vacation? To Palm Beach.
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Where did the fortune-teller go on her vacation? To Palm Beach.
Short Jokes
What do you call an Italian guy with one arm shorter than the other? A Speech Impediment.
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What do you call an Italian guy with one arm shorter than the other? A Speech Impediment.
Puns
There was a depressed sausage — he thought his life was the wurst.
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There was a depressed sausage — he thought his life was the wurst.
Social Posts
The Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.
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The Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.
Short Jokes
What does a tornado and a redneck divorce have in common? In the end, someone is going to lose a trailer.
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What does a tornado and a redneck divorce have in common? In the end, someone is going to lose a trailer.
Puns
Fun fact, clown fish are edible. But be warned — they taste funny.
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Fun fact, clown fish are edible. But be warned — they taste funny.
Puns
I met the inventor of the trampoline. He’s an all round nice guy, but a bit jumpy.
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I met the inventor of the trampoline. He’s an all round nice guy, but a bit jumpy.
Social Posts
Instead of complaining that it’s hard to remove glitter, accept it, embrace it. You are a shiny person now.
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Instead of complaining that it’s hard to remove glitter, accept it, embrace it. You are a shiny person now.
Short Jokes
My friend told me he is FINALLY going to watch the Back to the Future movieseries. “It’s about time,” I told him.
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My friend told me he is FINALLY going to watch the Back to the Future movieseries. “It’s about time,” I told him.
Puns
Why did no one like the Archer? Because he was too arrowgant.
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Why did no one like the Archer? Because he was too arrowgant.
Puns
The new Pope got Bird flu — I heard he caught it from one of his Cardinals.
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The new Pope got Bird flu — I heard he caught it from one of his Cardinals.
Short Jokes
Whenever someone tells me they like country music, I just look them in the eyes and ask “which country?”
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Whenever someone tells me they like country music, I just look them in the eyes and ask “which country?”
Puns
The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar. It was in tense.
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The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar. It was in tense.
Short Jokes
What’s the best way to capitalize on an opportunity? ON AN OPPORTUNITY
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What’s the best way to capitalize on an opportunity? ON AN OPPORTUNITY
Puns
My paper aeroplane won’t fly. It’s completely stationery.
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My paper aeroplane won’t fly. It’s completely stationery.
Short Jokes
Women always call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor
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Women always call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor