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Puns
Just finished painting my bedroom in under ten minutes using vinyl. Surely that’s some kind of record.
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Just finished painting my bedroom in under ten minutes using vinyl. Surely that’s some kind of record.
Puns
I’m worried about my friend who was just be diagnosed as a Polaroid Schizophrenic. It developed quickly.
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I’m worried about my friend who was just be diagnosed as a Polaroid Schizophrenic. It developed quickly.
Short Jokes
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
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I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
Short Jokes
The economy is so bad I went to buy a toaster and they gave me a bank.
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The economy is so bad I went to buy a toaster and they gave me a bank.
Puns
What do you call a German with a bad attitude? A sour Kraut.
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What do you call a German with a bad attitude? A sour Kraut.
Puns
Did you hear about the Pirate suffering from scurvy? His attempts to cure it were fruitless.
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Did you hear about the Pirate suffering from scurvy? His attempts to cure it were fruitless.
Puns
How do two lawyers greet each other? With a firm handshake.
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How do two lawyers greet each other? With a firm handshake.
Puns
Short Jokes
Communism jokes are not funny unless everyone gets them.
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Communism jokes are not funny unless everyone gets them.
Social Posts
My neighbours are loud and obnoxious. Now I know how Canada feels.
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My neighbours are loud and obnoxious. Now I know how Canada feels.
Short Jokes
The best thing about adolescent humor is that it never gets old.
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The best thing about adolescent humor is that it never gets old.
Social Posts
I overheard two female coworkers say there was a creepy dude listening to their conversation.
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I overheard two female coworkers say there was a creepy dude listening to their conversation.
Puns
Q: How many Kings of Spain does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Juan
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Q: How many Kings of Spain does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Juan
Puns
My internet connection on my farm was be terrible until I moved the router in the horse barn. Now I have stable WiFi.
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My internet connection on my farm was be terrible until I moved the router in the horse barn. Now I have stable WiFi.
Puns
Short Jokes
My Grandfather had the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
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My Grandfather had the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
Social Posts
Don’t buy whitening toothpaste It says guaranteed whiteness in 14 days. 15 days have come and gone, and I am still Asian.
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Don’t buy whitening toothpaste It says guaranteed whiteness in 14 days. 15 days have come and gone, and I am still Asian.
Social Posts
A good rule of thumb is to never be in Liam Neeson’s movie family.
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A good rule of thumb is to never be in Liam Neeson’s movie family.
Puns
What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say to the gym manager when he was joining a new gym? I’ll re-rack.
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What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say to the gym manager when he was joining a new gym? I’ll re-rack.
Short Jokes
What happens when Turkeys get the common cold? They quit smoking.
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What happens when Turkeys get the common cold? They quit smoking.
Puns
Why can’t a bike stand on it’s own? Because it is two tired.
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Why can’t a bike stand on it’s own? Because it is two tired.
Puns
A triangle exploded and a piece hit me. It was a 60-debris angle.
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A triangle exploded and a piece hit me. It was a 60-debris angle.
Short Jokes
[uses the restroom] Wife: make sure to put the toilet seat down Me: okay Me: [to toilet seat] you’re worthless and nobody likes you.
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[uses the restroom] Wife: make sure to put the toilet seat down Me: okay Me: [to toilet seat] you’re worthless and nobody likes you.
Puns