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Puns
Did you hear about the magic tractor? It went down a hill and turned into a field
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Did you hear about the magic tractor? It went down a hill and turned into a field
Short Jokes
Toilet stolen from police station, cops have nothing to go on.
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Toilet stolen from police station, cops have nothing to go on.
Puns
Cops are looking for a man who robbed a store using scissors. They say the guy could be a real danger–unless you have a rock.
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Cops are looking for a man who robbed a store using scissors. They say the guy could be a real danger–unless you have a rock.
Puns
Where did Napoleon keep his armies? In his sleevies.
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Where did Napoleon keep his armies? In his sleevies.
Short Jokes
Well I was going to donate blood today until – the lady got all personal and started asking, “Who’s blood is this?” and “How did you get it?”
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Well I was going to donate blood today until – the lady got all personal and started asking, “Who’s blood is this?” and “How did you get it?”
Short Jokes
Interviewer: What’s your worst quality? Person: Honesty. Interviewer: Well, i don’t think that honesty is a bad quality. Person: I don’t care what you think.
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Interviewer: What’s your worst quality? Person: Honesty. Interviewer: Well, i don’t think that honesty is a bad quality. Person: I don’t care what you think.
Short Jokes
Why do scuba divers roll backwards out of the boat? Cause if they rolled forwards, they would still be in the boat.
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Why do scuba divers roll backwards out of the boat? Cause if they rolled forwards, they would still be in the boat.
Social Posts
I get my hair cut twice a week – mostly because I love capes.
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I get my hair cut twice a week – mostly because I love capes.
Puns
What is the Pope’s favorite type of woman? Nun
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What is the Pope’s favorite type of woman? Nun
Short Jokes
Interviewer: Where were you born? Me: Missouri. Interviewer: What state are you in now? Me: Apathy. Interviewer: That’s not what I meant. Me: I don’t care.
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Interviewer: Where were you born? Me: Missouri. Interviewer: What state are you in now? Me: Apathy. Interviewer: That’s not what I meant. Me: I don’t care.
Short Jokes
I heard a guy at the beach screaming, “HELP! SHARK! HELP!” I just laughed. I knew that Shark wasn’t going to help him.
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I heard a guy at the beach screaming, “HELP! SHARK! HELP!” I just laughed. I knew that Shark wasn’t going to help him.
Puns
What do you call a hot day in Canada? A Nova Scorcha!
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What do you call a hot day in Canada? A Nova Scorcha!
Puns
Why can’t you tell secrets in a corn field? Because there are too many ears.
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Why can’t you tell secrets in a corn field? Because there are too many ears.
Puns
How can you tell Russians are bad at driving stick? Cause their cars are always Stalin
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How can you tell Russians are bad at driving stick? Cause their cars are always Stalin
Puns
What did the snail say when he was riding on the back of the turtle? Weeeeeeeeee!
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What did the snail say when he was riding on the back of the turtle? Weeeeeeeeee!
Puns
Why did the milking stool only have three legs? Because the cow has the udder
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Why did the milking stool only have three legs? Because the cow has the udder
Long Jokes
A 3 years old boy sits near a pregnant woman. Boy: Why do you look so fat? Pregnant woman: I have a baby inside me. Boy: Is it a good
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A 3 years old boy sits near a pregnant woman. Boy: Why do you look so fat? Pregnant woman: I have a baby inside me. Boy: Is it a good baby? Pregnant woman: Yes, it is a very good baby. Boy: Then why did you eat it?!
Long Jokes
An elderly couple are in church. The wife leans over and whispers to her husband, “I just let out a long, silent fart. What should I do?” The husband replies,
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An elderly couple are in church. The wife leans over and whispers to her husband, “I just let out a long, silent fart. What should I do?” The husband replies, “First off, replace the batteries in your hearing aid!”
Long Jokes
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, “The driver just insulted me!” The man says, “You go right up there and tell him off go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
Long Jokes
A boy asks his father, “Dad, are bugs good to eat?” “That’s disgusting. Don’t talk about things like that over dinner,” the dad replies. After dinner the father asks, “Now,
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A boy asks his father, “Dad, are bugs good to eat?” “That’s disgusting. Don’t talk about things like that over dinner,” the dad replies. After dinner the father asks, “Now, son, what did you want to ask me?” “Oh, nothing,” the boy says. “There was a bug in your soup, but now its gone.”
Long Jokes
Mr. and Mrs. Brown had two sons. One was named Mind Your Own Business & the other was named Trouble. One day the two boys decided to play hide and
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Mr. and Mrs. Brown had two sons. One was named Mind Your Own Business & the other was named Trouble. One day the two boys decided to play hide and seek. Trouble hid while Mind Your Own Business counted to one hundred. Mind Your Own Business began looking for his brother behind garbage cans and bushes. Then he started looking in and under cars until a police man approached him and asked, “What are you doing?” “Playing a game,” the boy replied. “What is your name?” the officer questioned. “Mind Your Own Business.” Furious the policeman inquired, “Are you looking for trouble?!” The boy replied, “Why, yes.”
Long Jokes
A child asked his father, “How were people born?” So his father said, “Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on.” The
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A child asked his father, “How were people born?” So his father said, “Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on.” The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, “We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now.” The child ran back to his father and said, “You lied to me!” His father replied, “No, your mom was talking about her side of the family.”