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Puns
I just got a job helping a one arm typist do capital letters
it’s shift work.
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I just got a job helping a one arm typist do capital letters
it’s shift work.
Puns
Dear lord, I thank you for these noodles I am about to eat. Ramen.
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Dear lord, I thank you for these noodles I am about to eat. Ramen.
Puns
Why are mountains so funny? Because they are hill-areas
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Why are mountains so funny? Because they are hill-areas
Puns
Did you hear about the constipated dyslexic? He had trouble moving his elbows.
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Did you hear about the constipated dyslexic? He had trouble moving his elbows.
Puns
What do you call a small, noisy dog? A sub-woofer.
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What do you call a small, noisy dog? A sub-woofer.
Social Posts
My neighbours are loud and obnoxious. Now I know how Canada feels.
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My neighbours are loud and obnoxious. Now I know how Canada feels.
Social Posts
If four out of five people suffer from radiation poisoning, does that mean the fifth one enjoys it?
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If four out of five people suffer from radiation poisoning, does that mean the fifth one enjoys it?
Puns
An infectious disease enters a bar…the bartender says,”we dont serve your kind here”. The disease replies, “well you’re not a very good host!”
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An infectious disease enters a bar…the bartender says,”we dont serve your kind here”. The disease replies, “well you’re not a very good host!”
Puns
Saw a homeless guy babbling about conspiracy theories that doesn’t really make sense…you could say it was a vague rant.
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Saw a homeless guy babbling about conspiracy theories that doesn’t really make sense…you could say it was a vague rant.
Short Jokes
Ever since the news came out about Samsung..their phones have been blowing up.
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Ever since the news came out about Samsung..their phones have been blowing up.
Puns
What do you call a relaxed redneck? A chillbilly.
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What do you call a relaxed redneck? A chillbilly.
Puns
Here’s two short jokes and a long joke: joke. joke. joooooooke.
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Here’s two short jokes and a long joke: joke. joke. joooooooke.
Puns
If your’e anxious and you know it…clasp your hands.
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If your’e anxious and you know it…clasp your hands.
Puns
A photon walks into a hotel -The bell boy walks up and asks, “Do you have any luggage?”. “No,” says the photon, “I’m traveling light.”
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A photon walks into a hotel -The bell boy walks up and asks, “Do you have any luggage?”. “No,” says the photon, “I’m traveling light.”
Puns
Knock knock. Who’s there? Benjamin. Benjamin Who? Yes, Benjamin Netanya Who.
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Knock knock. Who’s there? Benjamin. Benjamin Who? Yes, Benjamin Netanya Who.
Short Jokes
The best thing about adolescent humor…is that it never gets old!
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The best thing about adolescent humor…is that it never gets old!
Puns
Did you hear about the calendar thief? He got 12 months; they say his days are numbered!
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Did you hear about the calendar thief? He got 12 months; they say his days are numbered!
Short Jokes
I like my girlfriend’s new glow-in-the-dark braces…her smile really lights up the room now.
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I like my girlfriend’s new glow-in-the-dark braces…her smile really lights up the room now.
Puns
I keep getting the urge to purchase a big white bear from the artic. Doctor says I might have “Buy Polar” disorder.
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I keep getting the urge to purchase a big white bear from the artic. Doctor says I might have “Buy Polar” disorder.
Puns
What do you call a vegetable who has escaped prison? An escapea
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What do you call a vegetable who has escaped prison? An escapea
Puns
How many people does it take to change a light bulb in Brazil? A Brazillion!
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How many people does it take to change a light bulb in Brazil? A Brazillion!
Puns
Where do you find an enlightened mosquito? In Bhuddapest
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Where do you find an enlightened mosquito? In Bhuddapest
Puns
Have you ever seen those “Give a penny, take a penny” things at convenience stores? That makes no cents.
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Have you ever seen those “Give a penny, take a penny” things at convenience stores? That makes no cents.
Puns
What do you call a grammatically incorrect horse? An horse.
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What do you call a grammatically incorrect horse? An horse.