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Puns
Why did the Mexican take his Xanax? For hispanic attacks.
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Why did the Mexican take his Xanax? For hispanic attacks.
Puns
What’s the best part of a pregnancy joke? The delivery.
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What’s the best part of a pregnancy joke? The delivery.
Puns
What does a sheep say after walking into a disgusting, dirty bar? Ewe.
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What does a sheep say after walking into a disgusting, dirty bar? Ewe.
Short Jokes
Descartes walks into the bar. The bartender asks him, “will you have your usual tonight?” Rene replies “I think not” and he disappears.
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Descartes walks into the bar. The bartender asks him, “will you have your usual tonight?” Rene replies “I think not” and he disappears.
Puns
Everytime you pull the trigger a bullet loses its job
because it gets FIRED.
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Everytime you pull the trigger a bullet loses its job
because it gets FIRED.
Short Jokes
[uses the restroom] Wife: make sure to put the toilet seat down Me: okay Me: [to toilet seat] you’re worthless and nobody likes you.
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[uses the restroom] Wife: make sure to put the toilet seat down Me: okay Me: [to toilet seat] you’re worthless and nobody likes you.
Puns
Short Jokes
My ex-wife still misses me…But her aim is gettin better.
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My ex-wife still misses me…But her aim is gettin better.
Short Jokes
I’m terrible at telling jokes…I always punch up the mess lines
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I’m terrible at telling jokes…I always punch up the mess lines
Short Jokes
Donald Trump will ban the sale of shredded cheese, He wants to make America grate again
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Donald Trump will ban the sale of shredded cheese, He wants to make America grate again
Short Jokes
I was drinking at the bar, so I took a bus home. That may not be a big deal to you, but I’ve never driven a bus before!
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I was drinking at the bar, so I took a bus home. That may not be a big deal to you, but I’ve never driven a bus before!
Short Jokes
A Mexican fireman had twin boys. He named them Jose and Hose B
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A Mexican fireman had twin boys. He named them Jose and Hose B
Puns
What did the car said to the valet? I’ve been through a lot.
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What did the car said to the valet? I’ve been through a lot.
Short Jokes
Did you hear about the midget psychic who escaped from prison? He’s a small medium at large.
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Did you hear about the midget psychic who escaped from prison? He’s a small medium at large.
Puns
Which gospel contains Jesus’ parable about the shades of numbers? Math hue.
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Which gospel contains Jesus’ parable about the shades of numbers? Math hue.
Puns
Yttrium-barium-copper oxide walks into a bar The bartender tells him, “We don’t serve superconductors here.” He leaves without resistance.
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Yttrium-barium-copper oxide walks into a bar The bartender tells him, “We don’t serve superconductors here.” He leaves without resistance.
Puns
Where do baby cows go to eat lunch? At the calf-eteria.
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Where do baby cows go to eat lunch? At the calf-eteria.
Puns
Puns
My son just got a tattoo of a heart, a spade, a club, and a diamond, all without my permission. I guess I’ll deal with him later.
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My son just got a tattoo of a heart, a spade, a club, and a diamond, all without my permission. I guess I’ll deal with him later.
Puns
What should you do before criticizing Pac-Man? WAKA WAKA WAKA mile in his shoes
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What should you do before criticizing Pac-Man? WAKA WAKA WAKA mile in his shoes
Puns
Why was the musician arrested? He got in treble.
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Why was the musician arrested? He got in treble.
Short Jokes
Two guys walk into a bar. The third guy ducks.
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Two guys walk into a bar. The third guy ducks.
Short Jokes
If I could have dinner with anyone, dead or alive…I would choose alive.
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If I could have dinner with anyone, dead or alive…I would choose alive.