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Puns
My neighbor keeps telling me he wants to dig a deep hole in my backyard so I can get water. I know he means well.
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My neighbor keeps telling me he wants to dig a deep hole in my backyard so I can get water. I know he means well.
Puns
As a wheat farmer, I keep getting these strange headaches all the time. My doctor reckons it could be my-grains.
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As a wheat farmer, I keep getting these strange headaches all the time. My doctor reckons it could be my-grains.
Puns
Nine months isn’t really that long of a wait…It only feels like a maternity.
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Nine months isn’t really that long of a wait…It only feels like a maternity.
Short Jokes
Living on earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun every year.
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Living on earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun every year.
Short Jokes
How to stop two blind guys from fighting? Shout, “I’m betting on the guy with the knife”.
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How to stop two blind guys from fighting? Shout, “I’m betting on the guy with the knife”.
Puns
“What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?” “Sofishticated.”
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“What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?” “Sofishticated.”
Short Jokes
Short Jokes
A drunk wakes up in jail, “Why am I here officer?” “For drinking.” replies the cop.” Great” says the man. “When do we start?”
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A drunk wakes up in jail, “Why am I here officer?” “For drinking.” replies the cop.” Great” says the man. “When do we start?”
Puns
“What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?” “Sofishticated.”
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“What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?” “Sofishticated.”
Short Jokes
A mom and a son come home from the grocery store. The boy immediately empties out a box of animal crackers and the mom asks him why. The boy says,
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A mom and a son come home from the grocery store. The boy immediately empties out a box of animal crackers and the mom asks him why. The boy says, “You should not eat it if the seal is broken, so I’m looking for the seal.”
Short Jokes
If you serve your kids frozen vegetables and frozen chicken nuggets, you’re a terrible parent.
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If you serve your kids frozen vegetables and frozen chicken nuggets, you’re a terrible parent.
Puns
I hate the product hair salons use for perms…the smell makes my hair curl.
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I hate the product hair salons use for perms…the smell makes my hair curl.
Long Jokes
Before he left on a business trip, the father took his young son aside. “Terence, I’m trusting you to take care of the family while I’m gone. You’re going to
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Before he left on a business trip, the father took his young son aside. “Terence, I’m trusting you to take care of the family while I’m gone. You’re going to be the man of the house. “Comprehending the gravity of the situation, Terence replied soberly, “In that case, I’m gonna need the remote.”
Long Jokes
A woman meant to call a record store but dialed the wrong number and got a private home instead. “Do you have ‘Eyes of Blue’ and ‘A Love Supreme’?” she
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A woman meant to call a record store but dialed the wrong number and got a private home instead. “Do you have ‘Eyes of Blue’ and ‘A Love Supreme’?” she asked. “Well, no,” answered the puzzled homeowner. “But I have a wife and eleven children.” “Is that a record?” she inquired. “I don’t think so,” replied the man, “but it’s as close as I want to get.
Long Jokes
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ”Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!” The woman walks to the rear of the bus
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ”Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!” The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ”The driver just insulted me!” The man says: ”You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
Puns
I stumbled upon my dyslexic cow’s deepest secrets. They were in her dairy.
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I stumbled upon my dyslexic cow’s deepest secrets. They were in her dairy.
Puns
Both of my parents were dwarfs.. I’ll never forget how they struggled to put food on the table.
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Both of my parents were dwarfs.. I’ll never forget how they struggled to put food on the table.
Puns
I said to the gym instructor: “Can you teach me to do the splits?’ He said: “How flexible are you?” I said: “I can’t make Tuesdays.”
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I said to the gym instructor: “Can you teach me to do the splits?’ He said: “How flexible are you?” I said: “I can’t make Tuesdays.”
Puns
Who is the coolest guy in the hospital? The Ultrasound guy!
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Who is the coolest guy in the hospital? The Ultrasound guy!
Puns
I remember when I found out that I failed photography class… I was in a dark place at the time and felt so negative about myself.
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I remember when I found out that I failed photography class… I was in a dark place at the time and felt so negative about myself.
Short Jokes
What does Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? They both have the same middle name.
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What does Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? They both have the same middle name.
Short Jokes
I went on a once in a lifetime holiday. Never again.
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I went on a once in a lifetime holiday. Never again.
Short Jokes
I had a terrible day yesterday. As I was walking home, a man in a wheelchair stole my camouflage jacket! As he was wheeling away, I shouted after him, “you
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I had a terrible day yesterday. As I was walking home, a man in a wheelchair stole my camouflage jacket! As he was wheeling away, I shouted after him, “you can hide but you can’t run.”