Mrs. Applebee, the 6th grade teacher, posed the following problem to one of her classes: “A wealthy man dies and leaves ten million dollars. One-fifth is to go to his wife, one-fifth is to go to his son, one-sixth to his butler, and the rest to charity. Now, what does each get?” After a very long silence in the classroom, Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher called on Little Johnny for his answer. With complete sincerity in his voice, Little Johnny answered, “A lawyer!”

A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, “How many women can a man marry?” “Sixteen,” the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he knew the answer so quickly.” How do you know that?” “Easy,” the little boy said. “All you have to do is add it up, like the Preacher said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer.”

Three little boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, “My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50.” The second boy says, “That’s nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100.” The third boy says, “I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon. And it takes eight people to collect all the money.”

A prince was put under a spell so that he could speak only one word each year. If he didn’t speak for two years, the following year he could speak two words and so on. One day, he fell in love with a beautiful lady.He refrained from speaking for two whole years so he could call her “my darling.” But then he wanted to tell her he loved her, so he waited three more years. At the end of these five years, he wanted to ask her to marry him, so he waited another four years.Finally, as the ninth year of silence ended, he led the lady to the most romantic place in the kingdom and said, “My darling, I love you! Will you marry me?”And the lady said, “Pardon?”

Little Johnny’s kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures, tacked to a bulletin board, of the 10 most wanted men. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. “Yes,” said the policeman. “The detectives want him very badly.” So Little Johnny asked, “Then why didn’t you keep him when you took his picture?”

A little girl is helping her mommy with the dishes when she notices that some of her hairs are gray. She asks her mom,”Why are some of your hairs gray?”The mom replies cleverly, “Whenever you make me cry or lie to me, one of my hairs turn gray.” The girl thinks for a minute, and then asks,”Is that why all Grandma’s hairs are gray?”

Dad,” said Little Johnny, “I’m late for football practice. Would you please do my homework for me?” Little Johnny’s father said irately, “Son, it just wouldn’t be right.” “That’s okay,” replied Little Johnny “You could at least give it a try, couldn’t you.”

Little Emily was complaining to her mother that her stomach hurt. Her mother replied, “That’s because it’s empty. Maybe you should try putting something in it.” The next day, the pastor was over at Emily’s family’s house for lunch. He mentioned having his head hurt, to which Emily immediately replied, “That’s because it’s empty. Maybe you should try putting something in it.”