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Puns
It’s been suggested that hyper dogs with lots of energy bark about 350 times a day. Of course that’s a ruff estimate.
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It’s been suggested that hyper dogs with lots of energy bark about 350 times a day. Of course that’s a ruff estimate.
Puns
Just got kicked out of the coffee club for wearing a tea shirt.
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Just got kicked out of the coffee club for wearing a tea shirt.
Short Jokes
A woman answered the doorbell with a man standing on her porch. The man said, “I’m terribly sorry. I just ran over your cat and I would like to replace
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A woman answered the doorbell with a man standing on her porch. The man said, “I’m terribly sorry. I just ran over your cat and I would like to replace it for you.” The woman replied, “Well that’s alright with me, but how are you at catching mice?”
Puns
I just tripped and dropped a basket of freshly ironed clothes. All I could do was watch it unfold.
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I just tripped and dropped a basket of freshly ironed clothes. All I could do was watch it unfold.
Short Jokes
I’m not saying that my wife orders a lot from Amazon, I’m just saying that if I got a job as a UPS delivery driver, they’d probably let me work
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I’m not saying that my wife orders a lot from Amazon, I’m just saying that if I got a job as a UPS delivery driver, they’d probably let me work from home.
Short Jokes
I just released my own fragrance. The people sitting near me on the bus don’t look like they appreciate it though.
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I just released my own fragrance. The people sitting near me on the bus don’t look like they appreciate it though.
Puns
Almost all garden gnomes have red hats. It’s a little-gnome fact.
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Almost all garden gnomes have red hats. It’s a little-gnome fact.
Short Jokes
Did the person who invented the phrase “one-hit wonder” invent any other popular phrases?
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Did the person who invented the phrase “one-hit wonder” invent any other popular phrases?
Short Jokes
A child said to the pastor after a Sunday Service: “Dear Pastor, I would like to go to heaven some day because I know my brother won’t be there.”
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A child said to the pastor after a Sunday Service: “Dear Pastor, I would like to go to heaven some day because I know my brother won’t be there.”
Short Jokes
Whenever I get a stack of resumes on my desk at work, I always pick half at random and throw them out. Don’t need unlucky people working in my departme
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Whenever I get a stack of resumes on my desk at work, I always pick half at random and throw them out. Don’t need unlucky people working in my departme
Puns
When the king farted, why did nobody laugh? Because noble gases don’t cause reactions.
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When the king farted, why did nobody laugh? Because noble gases don’t cause reactions.
Short Jokes
What weighs more, a ton of bricks or a ton of feathers? The ton of feathers because you have to live with the weight of what you did to those
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What weighs more, a ton of bricks or a ton of feathers? The ton of feathers because you have to live with the weight of what you did to those poor birds.
Short Jokes
11:38 – Arrived at crime scene. 11:38 – Examined body. Signs of a struggle. 11:38 – Found murder weapon in drain. 11:38 – Realized watch was broken.
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11:38 – Arrived at crime scene. 11:38 – Examined body. Signs of a struggle. 11:38 – Found murder weapon in drain. 11:38 – Realized watch was broken.
Puns
I am reading a book on the history of lubricants, it’s non-friction.
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I am reading a book on the history of lubricants, it’s non-friction.
Short Jokes
Teacher: “What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots!” Student: “Yes it’s really strange. I’ve got another pair just
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Teacher: “What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots!” Student: “Yes it’s really strange. I’ve got another pair just like that at home.”
Short Jokes
Did you hear about the guy that got an AM radio? It took him a month to realize he could play it at night.
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Did you hear about the guy that got an AM radio? It took him a month to realize he could play it at night.
Short Jokes
I had to disconnect my carbon monoxide detector. The constant beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel nauseated.
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I had to disconnect my carbon monoxide detector. The constant beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel nauseated.
Short Jokes
Military Academy Teacher: “How come you do not comb your hair?” Billy: “No comb, Sir.” Teacher: “Use your dad’s then.” Billy: “No hair, Sir.”
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Military Academy Teacher: “How come you do not comb your hair?” Billy: “No comb, Sir.” Teacher: “Use your dad’s then.” Billy: “No hair, Sir.”
Long Jokes
A man accused of theft was appearing before the Judge. “Your Honor,” his lawyer said, “I feel it is very unfair for my client to be accused of theft. He
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A man accused of theft was appearing before the Judge. “Your Honor,” his lawyer said, “I feel it is very unfair for my client to be accused of theft. He arrived in this city only a few days ago and barely knows his way around. What’s more, he is only able to speak a few words of English. “The judge looked sternly at the defendant and asked, “How much English do you speak? “The defendant looked up and replied, “Give me your wallet.”
Puns
Chances are if you’ve seen one shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.
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Chances are if you’ve seen one shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.
Short Jokes
My Grandfather built me a car entirely out of wood. It had wooden seats, wooden doors, wooden steering wheel, wooden floors and a wooden engine. Unfortunately when I tried to
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My Grandfather built me a car entirely out of wood. It had wooden seats, wooden doors, wooden steering wheel, wooden floors and a wooden engine. Unfortunately when I tried to start it, it wooden work.
Long Jokes
A motorist was on trial for hitting a pedestrian. His lawyer argued, “Your Honor, my client has been driving for over twenty-five years.” “Your Honor,” the plaintiff’s lawyer retored, “if
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A motorist was on trial for hitting a pedestrian. His lawyer argued, “Your Honor, my client has been driving for over twenty-five years.” “Your Honor,” the plaintiff’s lawyer retored, “if this case is going to be judged by experience, may I remind you that my client has been walking for over fifty years.”
Puns
What shall we play today?” Cori asked her best friend Judy. “Let’s play ‘school’!” said Judy. “Okay,” said Cori, “But I’m going to be absent.”
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What shall we play today?” Cori asked her best friend Judy. “Let’s play ‘school’!” said Judy. “Okay,” said Cori, “But I’m going to be absent.”
Short Jokes
My Goldfish are named “one” and “two”. If one dies, I still have two.
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My Goldfish are named “one” and “two”. If one dies, I still have two.