The child was a typical four-year-old girl – cute, inquisitive, bright as a new penny. When she expressed difficulty in grasping the concept of marriage, her father decided to pull out his wedding photo album, thinking visual images would help. One page after another, he pointed out the bride arriving at the church, the entrance, the wedding ceremony, the recessional etc.” Now do you understand?” he asked.” I think so,” she said, “…is that when mommy came to work for us?”

A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply: “I’m Mr. Hudson’s daughter.” Her mother told her this was wrong, she must just say: “I’m Jane Hudson. “The minister spoke to her in Sunday School and said: “Aren’t you Mr. Hudson’s daughter?” She replied: “Well, I thought I was, but mother says I’m not.”

Census Taker: “How many children do you have?” Woman: “Four.” Census Taker: “May I have their names, please?” Woman: “Eenee, Meenee, Minee and George.” Census Taker: “Okay, that’s fine. But may I ask why you named your fourth child George?” Woman: “Because we didn’t want any Moe!”

A son walks into the living room and asks his dad to borrow the car because he has a hot date. The dad says, ”Sure, as soon as you cut your long hair.” The boy smiles and thinking he has outsmarted his dad replies, ”Dad, Jesus had long hair. .”And the dad replied, ”Yeah, and Jesus walked everywhere he went too, didn”t he?”

A Cub Scout troop was half an hour late to its den meeting. The den mother asked them severely: “Why are you so late?” “Oh,” said one boy, “we were helping an old man cross the street.” “That’s a nice, but it shouldn’t make you half an hour late.” “Well, you see,” said another boy, “he didn’t want to go.”

A woman and her husband interrupted their vacation to go to the dentist. “I want a tooth pulled, and I don’t want any pain killers because I’m in a big hurry. No gas or needles or any of that stuff.” the woman said. “Just extract the tooth as quickly as possible, and we’ll be on our way.” The dentist was quite impressed. “You’re certainly a courageous woman,” he said. “Which tooth is it?” The woman turned to her husband and said: “Show him your tooth, dear.”

Dentist begging the patient: “Could you help me? Could you give out a few of your loudest, most painful screams?” Patient: “Why? Doc, it isn’t all that bad this time.” Dentist: “There are so many people in the waiting room right now and I don’t want to miss the 4 o’clock ball game.”

Tech Support: “Now Bob, type the ‘P’ to bring up the Program Manager.” Customer: “Where is it?” Tech Support: “On your keyboard, Bob.” Customer: “What do you mean?” Tech Support: “‘P’ on your keyboard, Bob.” Customer: “I’M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!”

A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his fifth grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms.” Now, class. Observe the worms closely,” said the professor as he put the first worm into the water. The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be. The second worm, he put into the whiskey. It writhed painfully, and it quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail. “Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?” the professor asked. Little Johnny, who naturally sits in back, raised his hand and wisely, responded, “Drink whiskey and you won’t get worms!”