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Puns
Which kitchen appliance do surfers dislike most? The micro wave.
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Which kitchen appliance do surfers dislike most? The micro wave.
Puns
What kind of music is best for a fishing trip? Something catchy and with a lot of bass.
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What kind of music is best for a fishing trip? Something catchy and with a lot of bass.
Short Jokes
I once shot a deer in my pajamas… How it got in my pajamas, I will never know.
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I once shot a deer in my pajamas… How it got in my pajamas, I will never know.
Short Jokes
My upstairs neighbor was yelling so loudly at her daughter…that evem I cleaned my room too and put on my pajamas.
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My upstairs neighbor was yelling so loudly at her daughter…that evem I cleaned my room too and put on my pajamas.
Long Jokes
A guy goes to visit his grandmother and he brings his friends with him. While he’s talking to his grandmother, his friend starts eating the peanuts on the coffee table,
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A guy goes to visit his grandmother and he brings his friends with him. While he’s talking to his grandmother, his friend starts eating the peanuts on the coffee table, and finishes them off. As they’re leaving, his friend says to his grandmother, “Thanks for the peanuts.” She says, “No problem, since I lost my dentures I can only suck the chocolate off them.”
Short Jokes
When I was young I used to have an imaginary friend, now I’m on Facebook I have 319.
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When I was young I used to have an imaginary friend, now I’m on Facebook I have 319.
Puns
How did the celery get rich? It invested in the stalk market.
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How did the celery get rich? It invested in the stalk market.
Puns
I get bitterly angry every time my cell phone dies. My therapist suggested I find an outlet.
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I get bitterly angry every time my cell phone dies. My therapist suggested I find an outlet.
Long Jokes
Two men are drinking in a bar, they pull out the sandwiches their wives had lovingly prepared and tuck in. The bartender comes over and says “you can’t eat your
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Two men are drinking in a bar, they pull out the sandwiches their wives had lovingly prepared and tuck in. The bartender comes over and says “you can’t eat your own food in here.” So they swapped sandwiches.
Short Jokes
I wonder if colorblind people read Colorado as just “ado”.
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I wonder if colorblind people read Colorado as just “ado”.
Short Jokes
My optometrist says I’m colorblind. I should have realized it a long time ago… I mean, there were green flags everywhere.
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My optometrist says I’m colorblind. I should have realized it a long time ago… I mean, there were green flags everywhere.
Short Jokes
I was gutted this afternoon when my wife told me my 6 year old son wasn’t actually mine. She then said I need to pay more attention at school pick
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I was gutted this afternoon when my wife told me my 6 year old son wasn’t actually mine. She then said I need to pay more attention at school pick up.
Short Jokes
My girlfriend is so smart! I called her from my buddy’s phone and she said “What’s up honey?” She already knew it was me calling.
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My girlfriend is so smart! I called her from my buddy’s phone and she said “What’s up honey?” She already knew it was me calling.
Puns
My deer cloning operation has succeeded! I can finally make a quick buck.
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My deer cloning operation has succeeded! I can finally make a quick buck.
Short Jokes
My daughter told me she saw a deer on the way to school. I said, “How do you know it was going to school?”
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My daughter told me she saw a deer on the way to school. I said, “How do you know it was going to school?”
Puns
Tonight I am going to reveal my new kitchen appliance, it’ll be a blender reveal party.
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Tonight I am going to reveal my new kitchen appliance, it’ll be a blender reveal party.
Long Jokes
A woman is paying for some purchases at Macy’s. As she reaches for her card, a TV remote control falls out of her purse. The sales clerk asks, “Do you
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A woman is paying for some purchases at Macy’s. As she reaches for her card, a TV remote control falls out of her purse. The sales clerk asks, “Do you always carry your TV remote?” “No.” the woman says, “But my husband refused to come shopping with me today. I figured this was a great way to pay him back.”
Puns
Why shouldn’t you tell a secret around a clock?Because time will tell.
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Why shouldn’t you tell a secret around a clock?Because time will tell.
Short Jokes
At church, I only sing solo, so low that nobody can hear me.
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At church, I only sing solo, so low that nobody can hear me.
Long Jokes
Darling,” said the young man to his new bride. “Now that we are married, do you think you will be able to live on my modest income?” “Of course, dearest,
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Darling,” said the young man to his new bride. “Now that we are married, do you think you will be able to live on my modest income?” “Of course, dearest, no trouble,” she answered. “But what will you live on?”
Short Jokes
I wonder if the arachnophobia support group has a web site.
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I wonder if the arachnophobia support group has a web site.
Puns
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose? Hare spray.
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What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose? Hare spray.
Puns
Why shouldn’t you tell a secret around a clock? Because time will tell.
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Why shouldn’t you tell a secret around a clock? Because time will tell.
Short Jokes
My wife just left me. She says life revolves around football and she’s sick of it. I’m quite upset. We were together for 7 seasons.
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My wife just left me. She says life revolves around football and she’s sick of it. I’m quite upset. We were together for 7 seasons.