When I was a kid, my parents would always say “Excuse my French” after a swear word… …I’ll never forget that first day at school when the teacher asked did we know any French.

A small boy was looking at the red ripe tomatoes growing in the farmer’s garden. “I’ll give you my two pennies for that tomato,” said the boy pointing to a beautiful, large, ripe fruit hanging on the vine. “No,” said the farmer, “I get a dime for a tomato like that one. “The small boy pointed to a smaller green one, “Will you take two pennies for that one?” “Yes,” replied the farmer, “I’ll give you that one for two cents.” “OK,” said the lad, sealing the deal by putting the coins in the farmer’s hand, “I’ll pick it up in about a week.”

A woman is at a grocery store. She goes to the clerk to purchase her groceries. The clerk looks at her items and sees a carton of eggs, a gallon of milk, and a head of lettuce. He says to the woman, “You must be single.” The woman was surprised & replies, “Yes, how did you know?” The clerk answers, “Because you’re unattractive.”