Social Posts
What one thing you never anyone say about a banjo player? “That’s the banjo player’s Porsche.”
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What one thing you never anyone say about a banjo player? “That’s the banjo player’s Porsche.”
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Short Jokes
Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road.I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”
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Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road.I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”
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Short Jokes
I thought you were going to count calories,” Lois gently reminded her friend Karla as she consumed her second milkshake. “Oh, I am,” said Karla. “So far today, I’m at
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I thought you were going to count calories,” Lois gently reminded her friend Karla as she consumed her second milkshake. “Oh, I am,” said Karla. “So far today, I’m at 5,760.”
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Short Jokes
The restaurant bathrooms are really, really dangerous…So many of my first dates have gone to use them and vanished.
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The restaurant bathrooms are really, really dangerous…So many of my first dates have gone to use them and vanished.
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Short Jokes
Waitress: “Have I kept you waiting long?” Customer: “No, but did you know that there are 3,296 squares on the ceiling?”
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Waitress: “Have I kept you waiting long?” Customer: “No, but did you know that there are 3,296 squares on the ceiling?”
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Short Jokes
“Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.”
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“Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.”
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Short Jokes
I committed a crime during Oktoberfest, and my friend ratted on me to the cops. Man, what a schnitz.
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I committed a crime during Oktoberfest, and my friend ratted on me to the cops. Man, what a schnitz.
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Short Jokes
What do you call two watermelons that are not allowed to get married? A couple of can’t- elopes.
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What do you call two watermelons that are not allowed to get married? A couple of can’t- elopes.
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Short Jokes
Mary had a little lamb…And two nurses passed out in the delivery room.
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Mary had a little lamb…And two nurses passed out in the delivery room.
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Short Jokes
My husband was walking in his sleep so I put a vacuum cleaner in his hand.
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My husband was walking in his sleep so I put a vacuum cleaner in his hand.
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Short Jokes
I childproofed the house… but they still get in!
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I childproofed the house… but they still get in!
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Short Jokes
Running feels great…until you compare it to not running.
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Running feels great…until you compare it to not running.
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Short Jokes
Just got hospitalized due to a peekaboo accident. They put me in the ICU.
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Just got hospitalized due to a peekaboo accident. They put me in the ICU.
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Short Jokes
My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.”
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My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.”
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Long Jokes
After waiting more than an hour and a half for her date, Melissa decided she had been stood up. She changed from her best dinner dress into her pyjamas and
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After waiting more than an hour and a half for her date, Melissa decided she had been stood up. She changed from her best dinner dress into her pyjamas and slippers, fixed herself snack and resigned herself to an evening of TV. No sooner had she flopped down in front of the TV than her doorbell rang. There stood her date. He took one look at her and gasped, “I’m two hours late … and you’re still not ready?”
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Short Jokes
I get enough exercise just by pushing my luck!
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I get enough exercise just by pushing my luck!
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Short Jokes
It’s true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance?
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It’s true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance?
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Short Jokes
My son was like “I got a D in my math class” and I was like “That’s really bad” … and my wife was like … “you need to stop
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My son was like “I got a D in my math class” and I was like “That’s really bad” … and my wife was like … “you need to stop doing his homework.”
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512

Puns
I wanted to marry my English teacher when she got out of jail. But apparently you can’t end a sentence with a proposition.
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I wanted to marry my English teacher when she got out of jail. But apparently you can’t end a sentence with a proposition.
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Puns
In my last job my wages were paid in vegetables. I left because i was unhappy with the celery.
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In my last job my wages were paid in vegetables. I left because i was unhappy with the celery.
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Puns
I ran out of poker chips so used dry fruits for playing instead. People went nuts when they saw me raisin the stakes.
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I ran out of poker chips so used dry fruits for playing instead. People went nuts when they saw me raisin the stakes.
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Short Jokes
I always thought orthopaedic shoes were overrated, but I stand corrected.
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I always thought orthopaedic shoes were overrated, but I stand corrected.
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Social Posts
Whoeve coined the phrase, ‘coined the phrase’, coined the phrase.
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Whoeve coined the phrase, ‘coined the phrase’, coined the phrase.
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Short Jokes
Where do sharks go on summer vacation? Finland!
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Where do sharks go on summer vacation? Finland!
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