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Short Jokes
My boss made me go into the office on Labor Day. Halfway through the day, he came in to check up on me and caught me having a beer. He
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My boss made me go into the office on Labor Day. Halfway through the day, he came in to check up on me and caught me having a beer. He said to me, “You can’t drink while you’re working. “I said, “Oh, don’t worry – I’m not working.”
Short Jokes
This is a Want to hear a joke about the construction industry? Too bad, they’re still working on it.
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This is a Want to hear a joke about the construction industry? Too bad, they’re still working on it.
Puns
Q: How did the farmer find his lost cow? A: He tractor down.
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Q: How did the farmer find his lost cow? A: He tractor down.
Short Jokes
My doctor advised me to cut down on my sodium intake…I took his advice with a pinch of salt.
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My doctor advised me to cut down on my sodium intake…I took his advice with a pinch of salt.
Short Jokes
Why was there thunder and lightning in the lab? The scientists were brainstorming!
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Why was there thunder and lightning in the lab? The scientists were brainstorming!
Short Jokes
My wife told me the other day that I don’t take her to expensive places any more, so I took her to the gas station.
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My wife told me the other day that I don’t take her to expensive places any more, so I took her to the gas station.
Puns
My girlfriend complained I never took her anywhere, so we went to the Grand Canyon so she felt valley dated.
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My girlfriend complained I never took her anywhere, so we went to the Grand Canyon so she felt valley dated.
Short Jokes
“Have you got any kittens going cheap? asked a customer in a pet shop. No, sir, replied the owner. All our kittens go, Meow.
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“Have you got any kittens going cheap? asked a customer in a pet shop. No, sir, replied the owner. All our kittens go, Meow.
Short Jokes
My roommate says our house is haunted. I’ve been living here for 300 years and i haven’t noticed any ghost.
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My roommate says our house is haunted. I’ve been living here for 300 years and i haven’t noticed any ghost.
Long Jokes
The farmers son was returning from the market with a crate of chickens his father had entrusted to him, when all of a sudden the box fell and broke open.
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The farmers son was returning from the market with a crate of chickens his father had entrusted to him, when all of a sudden the box fell and broke open. Chickens scurried off in different directions, but the boy walked all over the neighborhood, retrieving the birds and returning them to the repaired crate. Hoping he had found them all, the boy returned home. Pa, the chickens got loose, the boy told his father reluctantly, but I managed to find all nine of them. You did well, son, the farmer said, because you left with only six.
Puns
What do you call a wolf that is lost? A where-wolf.
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What do you call a wolf that is lost? A where-wolf.
Short Jokes
My neighbor knocked on my door at 2:30am last night! Can you believe that?! Fortunately, I was still up practicing my bagpipes.
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My neighbor knocked on my door at 2:30am last night! Can you believe that?! Fortunately, I was still up practicing my bagpipes.
Short Jokes
What did the full glass say to the empty glass? You look drunk.
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What did the full glass say to the empty glass? You look drunk.
Short Jokes
My wife asked me if I knew any synonyms for difficult. She really knows how to ask the hard questions!
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My wife asked me if I knew any synonyms for difficult. She really knows how to ask the hard questions!
Short Jokes
Puns
Did ya hear about the pilot that flew in to a mountain? He had a bad altitude.
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Did ya hear about the pilot that flew in to a mountain? He had a bad altitude.
Short Jokes
A little-known college basketball rule is that players are not allowed to own more than five pet chickens. They will be ejected from a game if they have more than
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A little-known college basketball rule is that players are not allowed to own more than five pet chickens. They will be ejected from a game if they have more than five personal fowls.
Short Jokes
Barber: “Sir, could you please turn the other side of your face toward me?” Client: “Oh, youre finished shaving this side already?” Barber: “Oh, no. I just dont like the
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Barber: “Sir, could you please turn the other side of your face toward me?” Client: “Oh, youre finished shaving this side already?” Barber: “Oh, no. I just dont like the sight of blood.”
Short Jokes
A husband raced into his house. Ive found a great job! he exclaimed to his wife. The pay is incredible, they offer free medical insurance, and give three weeks vacation!
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A husband raced into his house. Ive found a great job! he exclaimed to his wife. The pay is incredible, they offer free medical insurance, and give three weeks vacation! That does sound wonderful, said the wife. Im glad you think so, replied her husband. You start tomorrow.
Short Jokes
Short Jokes
Rancher: “What kind of saddle do you want? One with or without a horn?” Cowboy: “Without is fine. There doesnt seem to be much traffic around here.”
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Rancher: “What kind of saddle do you want? One with or without a horn?” Cowboy: “Without is fine. There doesnt seem to be much traffic around here.”
Short Jokes
After dinner, my wife asked if I could clear the table. I needed a running start, but I made it.
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After dinner, my wife asked if I could clear the table. I needed a running start, but I made it.
Short Jokes
How do you know if someone is hitchhiking or just complimenting your driving?
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How do you know if someone is hitchhiking or just complimenting your driving?