Mrs. Oliver asked her class to write a composition on the subject of baseball. “You have thirty minutes to complete it,” she told her class. Sarah handed in her paper after writing for less than a minute. “You can’t be finished already,” said Mrs. Oliver. “Yes, I am,” proclaimed Sarah. Mrs. Oliver looked at her paper and read: “Game called off on account of rain.”

Two old men in a retirement village were sitting in the reading room and one said to the other, ”How do you really feel? I mean, you’re 90 years old, how do you honestly feel?” ”Honestly, I feel like a new born baby. I’ve got no hair, no teeth, and I just peed myself”

A family was having some people to dinner. At the table, the mother turned to her six-year-old daughter and said, “Dear, would you like to say the blessing?” “I wouldn’t know what to say,” replied the little girl, shyly.” Just say what you hear Mommy say, sweetie,” the woman said. Her daughter took a deep breath, bowed her head, and solemnly said, “Dear Lord, why did I invite all these people to dinner!?!”