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Short Jokes
I can totally keep secrets. It’s the people I tell them to that can’t.
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I can totally keep secrets. It’s the people I tell them to that can’t.
Short Jokes
Little Tina (sobbing): “Mommy, I will never learn how to spell.” Little Tina’s mom: “Why is that?” Little Tina: “The class-teacher keeps changing the words.”
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Little Tina (sobbing): “Mommy, I will never learn how to spell.” Little Tina’s mom: “Why is that?” Little Tina: “The class-teacher keeps changing the words.”
Short Jokes
My family branded me as a failure, then I invented an invisibility cloak. If only they could see me now.
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My family branded me as a failure, then I invented an invisibility cloak. If only they could see me now.
Short Jokes
When I am told, “You’ll regret that in the morning”, I don’t let it bother me. Being a problem solver, I just sleep in till noon.
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When I am told, “You’ll regret that in the morning”, I don’t let it bother me. Being a problem solver, I just sleep in till noon.
Social Posts
My kids are so open to experiencing culture. They’ll try anything, from chicken tenders at an Indian restaurant to chicken tenders at a Mexican restaurant.
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My kids are so open to experiencing culture. They’ll try anything, from chicken tenders at an Indian restaurant to chicken tenders at a Mexican restaurant.
Puns
I ate a clock yesterday, it was time-consuming.
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I ate a clock yesterday, it was time-consuming.
Short Jokes
Where do surfers learn to surf? At boarding school.
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Where do surfers learn to surf? At boarding school.
Short Jokes
Why did the freezer never graduate? Because it was set on 0 degrees.
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Why did the freezer never graduate? Because it was set on 0 degrees.
Puns
Fried shrimp are always angry. They have a hard time controlling their tempura.
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Fried shrimp are always angry. They have a hard time controlling their tempura.
Short Jokes
I’m really good at being lazy. In fact, my doctor even said that if I continue being this lazy I should expect atrophy.
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I’m really good at being lazy. In fact, my doctor even said that if I continue being this lazy I should expect atrophy.
Short Jokes
Instead of “the John,” I call my toilet “the Jim.” That way it sounds better when I say I go to the Jim first thing every morning.
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Instead of “the John,” I call my toilet “the Jim.” That way it sounds better when I say I go to the Jim first thing every morning.
Puns
Why are cats bad storytellers? Because they only have one tale.
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Why are cats bad storytellers? Because they only have one tale.
Long Jokes
A boy asks his father, “Dad, are bugs good to eat?” The father replied, “That’s disgusting, don’t talk about things like that over dinner”. After dinner the father asks, “Now,
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A boy asks his father, “Dad, are bugs good to eat?” The father replied, “That’s disgusting, don’t talk about things like that over dinner”. After dinner the father asks, “Now, son, what did you want to ask me?” – “Oh, nothing,” the boy says. “There was a bug in your soup, but now its gone.”
Puns
A teacher asked her students to use the word “beans” in a sentence. “My father grows beans,” said one girl. “My mother cooks beans,” said a boy. A third student
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A teacher asked her students to use the word “beans” in a sentence. “My father grows beans,” said one girl. “My mother cooks beans,” said a boy. A third student spoke up, “We are all human beans.”
Puns
Why do cows go to New York? To see the moo-sicals!
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Why do cows go to New York? To see the moo-sicals!
Puns
If prisoners could take their own mugshots
they’d be called cellfies.
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If prisoners could take their own mugshots
they’d be called cellfies.
Short Jokes
I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went, then it dawned on me.
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I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went, then it dawned on me.
Social Posts
I’m currently boycotting any company that sells items I can’t afford.
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I’m currently boycotting any company that sells items I can’t afford.
Puns
I’ve just written a song about tortillas; actually, its more of a wrap.
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I’ve just written a song about tortillas; actually, its more of a wrap.
Short Jokes
Forgot my pin for the 3rd time today…As expected, I’m now banned from Grenade training.
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Forgot my pin for the 3rd time today…As expected, I’m now banned from Grenade training.
Short Jokes
I tried to rob a bank by blowing up the safe..things were going well but there was just one problem. I bought some cheap dynamite that was advertised as “The
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I tried to rob a bank by blowing up the safe..things were going well but there was just one problem. I bought some cheap dynamite that was advertised as “The inexpensive explosives that won’t break the bank.
Short Jokes
Mr. and Mrs. Thorne had just reached the airport in the nick of time to catch the plane for their two-week’s vacation in Majorca. “I wish we’d brought the piano
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Mr. and Mrs. Thorne had just reached the airport in the nick of time to catch the plane for their two-week’s vacation in Majorca. “I wish we’d brought the piano with us,” said Mr. Thorne. “What on earth for?” asked his wife. “I’ve left the tickets on it.
Puns
How was the snow globe feeling after the storm? A little shaken.
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How was the snow globe feeling after the storm? A little shaken.
Social Posts
Did you know “DIET” stands for “Did I Eat That?”
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Did you know “DIET” stands for “Did I Eat That?”