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Short Jokes
Yesterday I went for a walk with a beautiful girl. When she noticed me, we went for a run.
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Yesterday I went for a walk with a beautiful girl. When she noticed me, we went for a run.
Short Jokes
My tennis opponent was not happy with my serve. He kept returning it.
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My tennis opponent was not happy with my serve. He kept returning it.
Short Jokes
Statistically 6 out of 7 Dwarfs are not Happy.
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Statistically 6 out of 7 Dwarfs are not Happy.
Social Posts
I havent tried yoga, but I have tried bending over to pick up my keys. So Im pretty sure that yoga is not for me.
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I havent tried yoga, but I have tried bending over to pick up my keys. So Im pretty sure that yoga is not for me.
Puns
What do sloths do when theres a snowstorm? They make a slow-man.
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What do sloths do when theres a snowstorm? They make a slow-man.
Short Jokes
Patient: “I keep seeing double, doctor.” Doctor: “Lie down on the couch then. Patient: “Which one?”
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Patient: “I keep seeing double, doctor.” Doctor: “Lie down on the couch then. Patient: “Which one?”
Short Jokes
Lawyer: “So you want me to defend you? Have you any money? The accused: No, but I have a sports car.” Lawyer: “Well, you can raise some money on that.
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Lawyer: “So you want me to defend you? Have you any money? The accused: No, but I have a sports car.” Lawyer: “Well, you can raise some money on that. Now, what are you accused of stealing?” The accused: “A sports car.”
Puns
I am the breadwinner of the family, I make the most dough.
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I am the breadwinner of the family, I make the most dough.
Puns
I dislocated my shoulder, but my friends helped me pop it back in. It was a joint effort.
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I dislocated my shoulder, but my friends helped me pop it back in. It was a joint effort.
Short Jokes
Son: “Dad, there is a hole in my shoe.” Dad: “Yes, Son, that’s where you put your foot.”
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Son: “Dad, there is a hole in my shoe.” Dad: “Yes, Son, that’s where you put your foot.”
Puns
Q: Why did Cinderella fail at basketball? A: Because she had a pumpkin for a coach.
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Q: Why did Cinderella fail at basketball? A: Because she had a pumpkin for a coach.
Short Jokes
Im an only child. My other siblings are adults.
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Im an only child. My other siblings are adults.
Puns
How do you tell two half-siblings apart? The difference is apparent.
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How do you tell two half-siblings apart? The difference is apparent.
Short Jokes
Q: Why do people that talk too much make great parole officers? A: They never let anyone finish a sentence!
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Q: Why do people that talk too much make great parole officers? A: They never let anyone finish a sentence!
Short Jokes
Doctor: Your body has run out of magnesium. Me: 0mg.
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Doctor: Your body has run out of magnesium. Me: 0mg.
Social Posts
Laziness Level: I get jealous when it’s bedtime in other countries.
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Laziness Level: I get jealous when it’s bedtime in other countries.
Short Jokes
Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.
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Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.
Puns
“A man just assaulted me with milk, cream, and butter. How dairy.”
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“A man just assaulted me with milk, cream, and butter. How dairy.”
Short Jokes
“My cross-eyed wife and I just got a divorce. I found out she was seeing someone on the side.”
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“My cross-eyed wife and I just got a divorce. I found out she was seeing someone on the side.”
Short Jokes
Hotel manager: “Are you the gentleman who wanted to be awakened to catch the early train?” Hotel guest: “Yes.” Hotel manager: “Then you can go back to sleep, you’ve missed
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Hotel manager: “Are you the gentleman who wanted to be awakened to catch the early train?” Hotel guest: “Yes.” Hotel manager: “Then you can go back to sleep, you’ve missed it.”
Short Jokes
They say one in every seven friends have a gambling addiction. My money’s on Dave.
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They say one in every seven friends have a gambling addiction. My money’s on Dave.
Short Jokes
How did the gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens foot.
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How did the gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens foot.
Long Jokes
A man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and asked, You know, Ive lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a
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A man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and asked, You know, Ive lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes? The woman looked at him strangely and asked Why? Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of nowhere, he replied.
Puns
I’ve deleted the phone numbers of all the Germans I know from my mobile phone. Now it’s Han’s free.
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I’ve deleted the phone numbers of all the Germans I know from my mobile phone. Now it’s Han’s free.