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Short Jokes
Teacher: “Kids, what does the chicken give you?” Student: “Meat!” Teacher: “Very good! Now what does the pig give you?” Student: “Bacon!” Teacher: “Great! And what does the fat cow
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Teacher: “Kids, what does the chicken give you?” Student: “Meat!” Teacher: “Very good! Now what does the pig give you?” Student: “Bacon!” Teacher: “Great! And what does the fat cow give you?” Student: “Homework!”
Puns
Why did the lady wear a helmet every time she ate? She was on a crash diet!
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Why did the lady wear a helmet every time she ate? She was on a crash diet!
Short Jokes
A boy and a man sit on a couch together. They start to have a conversation and the boy says to the man, “Yeah, well, I didnt believe in reincarnation
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A boy and a man sit on a couch together. They start to have a conversation and the boy says to the man, “Yeah, well, I didnt believe in reincarnation when I was your age either.”
Long Jokes
A man walks into a bar and says, “Give me a beer before the problems start!” He drinks the beer and then orders another saying, “Give me a beer before
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A man walks into a bar and says, “Give me a beer before the problems start!” He drinks the beer and then orders another saying, “Give me a beer before the problems start!” The bartender looks confused. This goes on for a while, and after the fifth beer the bartender is totally confused and asks the man, “When are you going to pay for these beers?” The man answers, “Now the problems start!”
Puns
I would tell you my autumn joke but you probably wouldn’t fall for it.
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I would tell you my autumn joke but you probably wouldn’t fall for it.
Puns
What did the sundae say to her husband? Im never gonna run away and dessert you!
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What did the sundae say to her husband? Im never gonna run away and dessert you!
Puns
What did one pencil say to the other on the first day of school? Looking sharp!
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What did one pencil say to the other on the first day of school? Looking sharp!
Puns
Q: What do you call it when you lose a foot race? A: Defeet.
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Q: What do you call it when you lose a foot race? A: Defeet.
Short Jokes
I was never a photogenic person, because when everyone said cheese I said “WHERE”?
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I was never a photogenic person, because when everyone said cheese I said “WHERE”?
Puns
My cat was just sick of the carpet. I don’t think it’s feline well.
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My cat was just sick of the carpet. I don’t think it’s feline well.
Puns
Q: What do you do if you get rejected at the sunscreen company? A: Reapply.
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Q: What do you do if you get rejected at the sunscreen company? A: Reapply.
Short Jokes
Boy: “Dad, I can’t eat this hamburger. It’s awful!” Dad: “Shall I call the waiter?” Boy: “No, I don’t think even he’ll be able to eat it!”
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Boy: “Dad, I can’t eat this hamburger. It’s awful!” Dad: “Shall I call the waiter?” Boy: “No, I don’t think even he’ll be able to eat it!”
Short Jokes
Short Jokes
Why do dentists use more anesthetic for longer procedures? So you won’t be able to run away when it’s time to pay the bill.
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Why do dentists use more anesthetic for longer procedures? So you won’t be able to run away when it’s time to pay the bill.
Short Jokes
Why don’t you ever see hippos hiding in trees? Because they are really good at it.
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Why don’t you ever see hippos hiding in trees? Because they are really good at it.
Short Jokes
I tried to go to the stationery store, but it moved.
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I tried to go to the stationery store, but it moved.
Puns
Q: Why do trees hate going back to school in the fall? A: Because theyre easily stumped.
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Q: Why do trees hate going back to school in the fall? A: Because theyre easily stumped.
Short Jokes
My wife left me because Im insecure…No wait, shes back, she just went to get coffee.
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My wife left me because Im insecure…No wait, shes back, she just went to get coffee.
Puns
DAD: “What sound does a witchs car make?” AYN: “I dont know.” DAD: Broom, broom! AYN: “Dad! Youre putting me to sweep.”
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DAD: “What sound does a witchs car make?” AYN: “I dont know.” DAD: Broom, broom! AYN: “Dad! Youre putting me to sweep.”
Short Jokes
Whats the easiest way to get a six-pack at the gym? Take the beer from your fridge and smuggle it in.
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Whats the easiest way to get a six-pack at the gym? Take the beer from your fridge and smuggle it in.