Social Posts
Do movie producers still say lights, camera, and action when it is a dark scene?
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Do movie producers still say lights, camera, and action when it is a dark scene?
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264

Short Jokes
Teacher: “Kids, what does the chicken give you?” Student: “Meat!” Teacher: “Very good! Now what does the pig give you?” Student: “Bacon!” Teacher: “Great! And what does the fat cow
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Teacher: “Kids, what does the chicken give you?” Student: “Meat!” Teacher: “Very good! Now what does the pig give you?” Student: “Bacon!” Teacher: “Great! And what does the fat cow give you?” Student: “Homework!”
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156

Puns
Why did the lady wear a helmet every time she ate? She was on a crash diet!
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Why did the lady wear a helmet every time she ate? She was on a crash diet!
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650

Short Jokes
A boy and a man sit on a couch together. They start to have a conversation and the boy says to the man, “Yeah, well, I didn’t believe in reincarnation
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A boy and a man sit on a couch together. They start to have a conversation and the boy says to the man, “Yeah, well, I didn’t believe in reincarnation when I was your age either.”
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434

Long Jokes
A man walks into a bar and says, “Give me a beer before the problems start!” He drinks the beer and then orders another saying, “Give me a beer before
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A man walks into a bar and says, “Give me a beer before the problems start!” He drinks the beer and then orders another saying, “Give me a beer before the problems start!” The bartender looks confused. This goes on for a while, and after the fifth beer the bartender is totally confused and asks the man, “When are you going to pay for these beers?” The man answers, “Now the problems start!”
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231

Social Posts
I got lost in your eyes. But I also get lost in most department stores, so I wouldn’t read too much into it.
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I got lost in your eyes. But I also get lost in most department stores, so I wouldn’t read too much into it.
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291

Puns
I would tell you my autumn joke but you probably wouldn’t fall for it.
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I would tell you my autumn joke but you probably wouldn’t fall for it.
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277

Puns
What did the sundae say to her husband? I’m never gonna run away and dessert you!
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What did the sundae say to her husband? I’m never gonna run away and dessert you!
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523

Puns
What did one pencil say to the other on the first day of school? Looking sharp!
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What did one pencil say to the other on the first day of school? Looking sharp!
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240

Puns
Q: What do you call it when you lose a foot race? A: Defeet.
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Q: What do you call it when you lose a foot race? A: Defeet.
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1208

Short Jokes
I was never a photogenic person, because when everyone said cheese I said “WHERE”?
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I was never a photogenic person, because when everyone said cheese I said “WHERE”?
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32

Puns
My cat was just sick of the carpet. I don’t think it’s feline well.
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My cat was just sick of the carpet. I don’t think it’s feline well.
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1041

Puns
Q: What do you do if you get rejected at the sunscreen company? A: Reapply.
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Q: What do you do if you get rejected at the sunscreen company? A: Reapply.
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905

Short Jokes
Boy: “Dad, I can’t eat this hamburger. It’s awful!” Dad: “Shall I call the waiter?” Boy: “No, I don’t think even he’ll be able to eat it!”
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Boy: “Dad, I can’t eat this hamburger. It’s awful!” Dad: “Shall I call the waiter?” Boy: “No, I don’t think even he’ll be able to eat it!”
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629

Short Jokes
If the sun is so hot how come it’s single.
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If the sun is so hot how come it’s single.
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1193

Short Jokes
Why do dentists use more anesthetic for longer procedures? So you won’t be able to run away when it’s time to pay the bill.
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Why do dentists use more anesthetic for longer procedures? So you won’t be able to run away when it’s time to pay the bill.
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413

Short Jokes
Why don’t you ever see hippos hiding in trees? Because they are really good at it.
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Why don’t you ever see hippos hiding in trees? Because they are really good at it.
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811

Short Jokes
I tried to go to the stationery store, but it moved.
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I tried to go to the stationery store, but it moved.
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275

Puns
Q: Why do trees hate going back to school in the fall? A: Because they’re easily stumped.
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Q: Why do trees hate going back to school in the fall? A: Because they’re easily stumped.
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791

Short Jokes
My wife left me because I’m insecure…No wait, she’s back, she just went to get coffee.
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My wife left me because I’m insecure…No wait, she’s back, she just went to get coffee.
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851

Social Posts
If you win three games of Twister in a row you’re automatically a yoga instructor.
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If you win three games of Twister in a row you’re automatically a yoga instructor.
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871

Puns
DAD: “What sound does a witch’s car make?” AYN: “I don’t know.” DAD: “Broom, broom!” AYN: “Dad! You’re putting me to sweep.”
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DAD: “What sound does a witch’s car make?” AYN: “I don’t know.” DAD: “Broom, broom!” AYN: “Dad! You’re putting me to sweep.”
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838

Social Posts
To save time, I now have Amazon deliver my kids new coats directly to their school’s Lost and Found.
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To save time, I now have Amazon deliver my kids new coats directly to their school’s Lost and Found.
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965

Short Jokes
What’s the easiest way to get a six-pack at the gym? Take the beer from your fridge and smuggle it in.
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What’s the easiest way to get a six-pack at the gym? Take the beer from your fridge and smuggle it in.
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