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Short Jokes
It’s so sad that in New York, someone gets mugged every ten seconds. Poor guy.
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It’s so sad that in New York, someone gets mugged every ten seconds. Poor guy.
Short Jokes
I read a book about an immortal dog. It was impossible to put down.
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I read a book about an immortal dog. It was impossible to put down.
Puns
I wanted to make a joke about criminals, but I was scared it would get stolen.
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I wanted to make a joke about criminals, but I was scared it would get stolen.
Social Posts
If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it.
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If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it.
Short Jokes
“When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.”
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“When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.”
Short Jokes
Waiter: “I just wanted to let you know kids eat free.” Dad: “Good, I’ll have water and my son will have the steak and a kid’s light beer.”
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Waiter: “I just wanted to let you know kids eat free.” Dad: “Good, I’ll have water and my son will have the steak and a kid’s light beer.”
Social Posts
I will have enough money for the rest of my life. Of course, if I don’t buy and eat anything.
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I will have enough money for the rest of my life. Of course, if I don’t buy and eat anything.
Puns
A sweater I bought was picking up static electricity. So, I returned it to the store. They gave me another one free of charge.
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A sweater I bought was picking up static electricity. So, I returned it to the store. They gave me another one free of charge.
Short Jokes
I tried horse racing once, but I fell at the first fence. I might have done better if I had a horse.
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I tried horse racing once, but I fell at the first fence. I might have done better if I had a horse.
Long Jokes
This past Christmas, I told my girlfriend for months in advance that all I wanted was an Xbox. Thats it. Beginning and end of list, Xbox. You know what she
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This past Christmas, I told my girlfriend for months in advance that all I wanted was an Xbox. Thats it. Beginning and end of list, Xbox. You know what she got me? A homemade frame with a picture of us from our first date together. Which was fine. Because I got her an Xbox.
Social Posts
The problem with life is, by the time you want to read a book, your library card has expired.
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The problem with life is, by the time you want to read a book, your library card has expired.
Short Jokes
Welcome to Plastic Surgery Anonymous. Nice to see so many new faces.
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Welcome to Plastic Surgery Anonymous. Nice to see so many new faces.
Short Jokes
I hate jokes about prom. The punchline is always too long.
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I hate jokes about prom. The punchline is always too long.
Social Posts
My dad was amazing. He raised five boys. All by himself. Without the rest of us knowing.
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My dad was amazing. He raised five boys. All by himself. Without the rest of us knowing.
Short Jokes
Ive got a kid in Africa that I feed, that I clothe, that I school, that I inoculate for 75 cents a day. Which is practically nothing compared to what
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Ive got a kid in Africa that I feed, that I clothe, that I school, that I inoculate for 75 cents a day. Which is practically nothing compared to what it cost to send him there.
Social Posts
If you had a three story house and were in the second floor, isn’t it possible that you can be upstairs and downstairs at the same time?
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If you had a three story house and were in the second floor, isn’t it possible that you can be upstairs and downstairs at the same time?
Long Jokes
A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail
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A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, theres a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says “What was that all about?”
Short Jokes
My girlfriend is upset about her new haircut. I don’t understand why she’s crying. I’m the one who has to get a new girlfriend.
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My girlfriend is upset about her new haircut. I don’t understand why she’s crying. I’m the one who has to get a new girlfriend.
Short Jokes
The little girl had been taken to the supermarket by her mother but somehow managed to get lost near the tinned food section. “Excuse me,” asked the little girl of
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The little girl had been taken to the supermarket by her mother but somehow managed to get lost near the tinned food section. “Excuse me,” asked the little girl of another customer. “Have you seen a mother walking along pushing a shopping trolley without a girl like me?”
Short Jokes
Father: What did you two kids do to today to help your mother? Son: I dried the dishes. Daughter: And I helped pick up the pieces.
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Father: What did you two kids do to today to help your mother? Son: I dried the dishes. Daughter: And I helped pick up the pieces.
Short Jokes
I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn’t park anywhere near the place.
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I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn’t park anywhere near the place.
Puns
Whos the king of all the stationery? The ruler.
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Whos the king of all the stationery? The ruler.
Short Jokes
I was drinking a martini and someone screamed, “Does anyone know CPR?” I yelled back, “I know the whole alphabet!” And we laughed and laughed. Except for one guy.
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I was drinking a martini and someone screamed, “Does anyone know CPR?” I yelled back, “I know the whole alphabet!” And we laughed and laughed. Except for one guy.
Puns