Short Jokes
Two kids were bragging about the toys they owned. One of them said, “This is Action Man! He’s been in Viet Nam, Operation Desert Storm, Iraq – and the vacuum
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Two kids were bragging about the toys they owned. One of them said, “This is Action Man! He’s been in Viet Nam, Operation Desert Storm, Iraq – and the vacuum cleaner twice!”
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852

Social Posts
I found my wife’s Tinder profile. I’m so angry about her lies! She is not “fun to be around.”
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I found my wife’s Tinder profile. I’m so angry about her lies! She is not “fun to be around.”
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55

Social Posts
Whenever I clean my closet I take a GPS with me, so I can find my way back.
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Whenever I clean my closet I take a GPS with me, so I can find my way back.
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389

Short Jokes
My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn’t pay the bill he gave me six months more.
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My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn’t pay the bill he gave me six months more.
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951

Puns
What is the best way to create a bouncy pool? By adding spring water!
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What is the best way to create a bouncy pool? By adding spring water!
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758

Puns
Q: What’s the quietest animal on a farm? A: A ssshhheep.
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Q: What’s the quietest animal on a farm? A: A ssshhheep.
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335

Puns
Q: Why do cows like being told jokes? A: Because they like being amoosed.
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Q: Why do cows like being told jokes? A: Because they like being amoosed.
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1159

Puns
Lance is an uncommon name these days, but in medieval times people were named Lance a lot.
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Lance is an uncommon name these days, but in medieval times people were named Lance a lot.
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241

Short Jokes
Today I found a twenty dollar bill on the ground. As I went to walk away with it I thought, “What would Jesus do?” So, I went to a store
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Today I found a twenty dollar bill on the ground. As I went to walk away with it I thought, “What would Jesus do?” So, I went to a store and turned it into wine.
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551

Short Jokes
I finally got eight hours sleep. Took me four days, but whatever.
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I finally got eight hours sleep. Took me four days, but whatever.
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105

Social Posts
That last tooth brushing before heading to the dentist is the adult version of cramming for finals.
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That last tooth brushing before heading to the dentist is the adult version of cramming for finals.
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77

Social Posts
When I was young, I was poor. After years of hard work…I am no longer young.
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When I was young, I was poor. After years of hard work…I am no longer young.
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1247

Short Jokes
“My twin sister called me from prison. She said: “You know how we finish each other’s sentences?” …
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“My twin sister called me from prison. She said: “You know how we finish each other’s sentences?” …
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564

Social Posts
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
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Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
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202

Short Jokes
I saw a book at the store today called “How to end 50% of your problems” I bought two.
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I saw a book at the store today called “How to end 50% of your problems” I bought two.
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1005

Short Jokes
Teacher: “Laura, were you copying Mandy’s answers?” Laura: “No, Miss Morris, I was seeing if she got mine right.”
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Teacher: “Laura, were you copying Mandy’s answers?” Laura: “No, Miss Morris, I was seeing if she got mine right.”
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373

Short Jokes
I’m on the snake diet. It’s the one where you lie on the floor all day, eat 25% of your body weight, and hiss at anyone who comes near you.
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I’m on the snake diet. It’s the one where you lie on the floor all day, eat 25% of your body weight, and hiss at anyone who comes near you.
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842

Social Posts
I love my six pack so much, I protect is with a layer of fat.
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I love my six pack so much, I protect is with a layer of fat.
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127

Short Jokes
As I handed my Dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me, with tears in his eyes and said, “You know, one would have been enough.”
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As I handed my Dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me, with tears in his eyes and said, “You know, one would have been enough.”
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885

Short Jokes
Teacher: If you had twelve sweets, and Johnny took half, what would he have? Tiffany: A black eye!
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Teacher: If you had twelve sweets, and Johnny took half, what would he have? Tiffany: A black eye!
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616

Social Posts
If I had a dollar for every woman who called me handsome…I’d have a dollar. Thanks Grandma.
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If I had a dollar for every woman who called me handsome…I’d have a dollar. Thanks Grandma.
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1077

Social Posts
Corn syrup season is back…farmers will be busy draining the syrup from the corn.
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Corn syrup season is back…farmers will be busy draining the syrup from the corn.
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424

Social Posts
I’m the type of husband that helps his wife look for her missing chocolate that I ate.
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I’m the type of husband that helps his wife look for her missing chocolate that I ate.
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610

Short Jokes
Boss: Why are you late? Me: I was drinking last night and set my calculator for $5.30
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Boss: Why are you late? Me: I was drinking last night and set my calculator for $5.30
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360

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