Short Jokes
Two kids were bragging about the toys they owned. One of them said, “This is Action Man! He’s been in Viet Nam, Operation Desert Storm, Iraq – and the vacuum
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Two kids were bragging about the toys they owned. One of them said, “This is Action Man! He’s been in Viet Nam, Operation Desert Storm, Iraq – and the vacuum cleaner twice!”
Social Posts
I found my wife’s Tinder profile. I’m so angry about her lies! She is not “fun to be around.”
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I found my wife’s Tinder profile. I’m so angry about her lies! She is not “fun to be around.”
Social Posts
Whenever I clean my closet I take a GPS with me, so I can find my way back.
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Whenever I clean my closet I take a GPS with me, so I can find my way back.
Short Jokes
My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn’t pay the bill he gave me six months more.
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My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn’t pay the bill he gave me six months more.
Puns
What is the best way to create a bouncy pool? By adding spring water!
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What is the best way to create a bouncy pool? By adding spring water!
Puns
Q: What’s the quietest animal on a farm? A: A ssshhheep.
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Q: What’s the quietest animal on a farm? A: A ssshhheep.
Puns
Q: Why do cows like being told jokes? A: Because they like being amoosed.
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Q: Why do cows like being told jokes? A: Because they like being amoosed.
Puns
Lance is an uncommon name these days, but in medieval times people were named Lance a lot.
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Lance is an uncommon name these days, but in medieval times people were named Lance a lot.
Short Jokes
Today I found a twenty dollar bill on the ground. As I went to walk away with it I thought, “What would Jesus do?” So, I went to a store
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Today I found a twenty dollar bill on the ground. As I went to walk away with it I thought, “What would Jesus do?” So, I went to a store and turned it into wine.
Short Jokes
I finally got eight hours sleep. Took me four days, but whatever.
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I finally got eight hours sleep. Took me four days, but whatever.
Social Posts
That last tooth brushing before heading to the dentist is the adult version of cramming for finals.
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That last tooth brushing before heading to the dentist is the adult version of cramming for finals.
Social Posts
When I was young, I was poor. After years of hard work…I am no longer young.
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When I was young, I was poor. After years of hard work…I am no longer young.
Short Jokes
“My twin sister called me from prison. She said: “You know how we finish each other’s sentences?” …
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“My twin sister called me from prison. She said: “You know how we finish each other’s sentences?” …
Social Posts
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
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Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Short Jokes
I saw a book at the store today called “How to end 50% of your problems” I bought two.
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I saw a book at the store today called “How to end 50% of your problems” I bought two.
Short Jokes
Teacher: “Laura, were you copying Mandy’s answers?” Laura: “No, Miss Morris, I was seeing if she got mine right.”
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Teacher: “Laura, were you copying Mandy’s answers?” Laura: “No, Miss Morris, I was seeing if she got mine right.”
Short Jokes
I’m on the snake diet. It’s the one where you lie on the floor all day, eat 25% of your body weight, and hiss at anyone who comes near you.
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I’m on the snake diet. It’s the one where you lie on the floor all day, eat 25% of your body weight, and hiss at anyone who comes near you.
Social Posts
I love my six pack so much, I protect is with a layer of fat.
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I love my six pack so much, I protect is with a layer of fat.
Short Jokes
As I handed my Dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me, with tears in his eyes and said, “You know, one would have been enough.”
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As I handed my Dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me, with tears in his eyes and said, “You know, one would have been enough.”
Short Jokes
Teacher: If you had twelve sweets, and Johnny took half, what would he have? Tiffany: A black eye!
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Teacher: If you had twelve sweets, and Johnny took half, what would he have? Tiffany: A black eye!
Social Posts
If I had a dollar for every woman who called me handsome…I’d have a dollar. Thanks Grandma.
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If I had a dollar for every woman who called me handsome…I’d have a dollar. Thanks Grandma.
Social Posts
Corn syrup season is back…farmers will be busy draining the syrup from the corn.
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Corn syrup season is back…farmers will be busy draining the syrup from the corn.
Social Posts
I’m the type of husband that helps his wife look for her missing chocolate that I ate.
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I’m the type of husband that helps his wife look for her missing chocolate that I ate.
Short Jokes
Boss: Why are you late? Me: I was drinking last night and set my calculator for $5.30
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Boss: Why are you late? Me: I was drinking last night and set my calculator for $5.30
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