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Apparently, when you donate blood it has to be your own.
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Apparently, when you donate blood it has to be your own.
Social Posts
If really good looking people are ‘eye candy’, I guess that puts me somewhere around the ‘eye broccoli’ category.
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If really good looking people are ‘eye candy’, I guess that puts me somewhere around the ‘eye broccoli’ category.
Short Jokes
My wife is leaving me because of my obsession with Star Wars. As she was leaving I said – “May divorce be with you.”
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My wife is leaving me because of my obsession with Star Wars. As she was leaving I said – “May divorce be with you.”
Short Jokes
I couldnt stand my son’s long hair any longer, so I dragged him to the barber and said…Give him a crew cut. The barber did just that, and so help
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I couldnt stand my son’s long hair any longer, so I dragged him to the barber and said…Give him a crew cut. The barber did just that, and so help me, I found Id been bringing up somebody elses son!
Short Jokes
Mother: ‘Where did you get that blackeye, Jimmy? Didn’t I tell you that good little boys never fight?’ Jimmy: ‘Yes, mother, and I believed you. I thought he was a
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Mother: ‘Where did you get that blackeye, Jimmy? Didn’t I tell you that good little boys never fight?’ Jimmy: ‘Yes, mother, and I believed you. I thought he was a good little boy and I hit him, and then I found out he wasn’t.’
Short Jokes
Man: “Could I have a day off, sir, to help my wife with the spring cleaning?” Boss: ”No, I’m afraid not -” Man: “Thank you, sir. I knew I could
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Man: “Could I have a day off, sir, to help my wife with the spring cleaning?” Boss: ”No, I’m afraid not -” Man: “Thank you, sir. I knew I could rely on you.”
Long Jokes
Little girl was going to a party and her mother told her to be a good girl and to remember when she was leaving to thank her hostess. When she
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Little girl was going to a party and her mother told her to be a good girl and to remember when she was leaving to thank her hostess. When she arrived home, the mother asked her if she thanked her hostess and the little girl replied: ‘No, the girl in front of me did and the lady said “Don’t mention it” – so I didn’t.’
Short Jokes
“What did you get on your birthday?” Boy: “A set of drums and it is the best present I have ever had.” Friend: “Why?” Boy: “Because my father gives me
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“What did you get on your birthday?” Boy: “A set of drums and it is the best present I have ever had.” Friend: “Why?” Boy: “Because my father gives me $100 a week for not playing them.”
Short Jokes
Prison 1 – “And what brought you here?” Prisoner 2 – “Competition.” Prisoner 1 – “Competition?” Prisoner 2- “Yes, I made the same kind of banknotes as the Government.”
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Prison 1 – “And what brought you here?” Prisoner 2 – “Competition.” Prisoner 1 – “Competition?” Prisoner 2- “Yes, I made the same kind of banknotes as the Government.”
Short Jokes
Teacher – “Give me a sentence with the word ”gladiator”. Pupil – “The lion pounced on the woman and was glad he ate her.”
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Teacher – “Give me a sentence with the word ”gladiator”. Pupil – “The lion pounced on the woman and was glad he ate her.”
Short Jokes
Patient – “Doctor, doctor, I swallowed a tiny fairy-tale book yesterday.” Doctor – “Sit down and tell me the whole story.”
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Patient – “Doctor, doctor, I swallowed a tiny fairy-tale book yesterday.” Doctor – “Sit down and tell me the whole story.”
Short Jokes
A man went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. “You’ll get your chance in court,” said the
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A man went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. “You’ll get your chance in court,” said the desk sergeant. “No, no, no!”, said the man. “I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying to do that for years!”
Long Jokes
Lady to the doctor over the phone. Doctor, I beg of you, please prescribe me something immediately to reduce my weight. My husband has given me a wonderful birthday present,
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Lady to the doctor over the phone. Doctor, I beg of you, please prescribe me something immediately to reduce my weight. My husband has given me a wonderful birthday present, and I cant get into it. Doctor: Just come over here tomorrow, and I shall give you a prescription. Then you will soonbe able to wear your wonderful new dress. Lady: Who said anything about a dress? I am talking of car.
Short Jokes
Doctor – “You will only have to wear these glasses at your work.” Patient – “That’s impossible.” Doctor – “Why?” Patient – “I’m a boxer.”
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Doctor – “You will only have to wear these glasses at your work.” Patient – “That’s impossible.” Doctor – “Why?” Patient – “I’m a boxer.”
Puns
Gamekeeper – “Don’t you know you’re not allowed to fish here?” Sandy – “I’m not fishing. I’m teaching a worm to swim!”
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Gamekeeper – “Don’t you know you’re not allowed to fish here?” Sandy – “I’m not fishing. I’m teaching a worm to swim!”
Puns
Mum – “What are you doing, Tommy?” Tommy – “I’m writing a letter to my sister.” Mum – “Don’t, be silly, you can’t write.” Tommy – “That doesn’t matter, she
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Mum – “What are you doing, Tommy?” Tommy – “I’m writing a letter to my sister.” Mum – “Don’t, be silly, you can’t write.” Tommy – “That doesn’t matter, she can’t read.”
Puns
Boy – “I wish I’d lived at the very beginning of the world.” Teacher – “Why?” Boy – “Because I wouldn’t have had to learn history.”
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Boy – “I wish I’d lived at the very beginning of the world.” Teacher – “Why?” Boy – “Because I wouldn’t have had to learn history.”
Short Jokes
Smiffy: What is today’s date? Toots: I dunno. Smiffy: Why don’t you look at that newspaper that’s on the table? Toots: That’s no use – it’s yesterday’s newspaper
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Smiffy: What is today’s date? Toots: I dunno. Smiffy: Why don’t you look at that newspaper that’s on the table? Toots: That’s no use – it’s yesterday’s newspaper
Puns
Teacher: “Which one is closer, Sun or Africa?” Johnny: “Sun” Teacher: “Why?” Johnny: “We can see the sun all the time, but can’t see Africa.”
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Teacher: “Which one is closer, Sun or Africa?” Johnny: “Sun” Teacher: “Why?” Johnny: “We can see the sun all the time, but can’t see Africa.”
Short Jokes
As I was walking along a street in a smalltown a man came up to me and asked, “What time is it? I looked at my watch and answered, “It’s
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As I was walking along a street in a smalltown a man came up to me and asked, “What time is it? I looked at my watch and answered, “It’s five o’clock.” “I must be going crazy,” said the man. “All day long I keep getting different answers.
Short Jokes
Little boy: “I et four eggs for breakfast this morning. “Big sister: “You mean ate.” Little boy: “Maybe you’re right. Maybe I et eight eggs for breakfast this morning.”
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Little boy: “I et four eggs for breakfast this morning. “Big sister: “You mean ate.” Little boy: “Maybe you’re right. Maybe I et eight eggs for breakfast this morning.”
Short Jokes
Little girl to policeman: “Please, sir, will you take my little brother home? He’s lost.” Policeman: “Why can’t you take him home?” Girl: “Because I’m lost too.”
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Little girl to policeman: “Please, sir, will you take my little brother home? He’s lost.” Policeman: “Why can’t you take him home?” Girl: “Because I’m lost too.”
Short Jokes
Dad: “You brought me the wrong boots, son. Can’t you see that one of them is black and the other brown?” Son: “Yes, dad, but your other pair is just
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Dad: “You brought me the wrong boots, son. Can’t you see that one of them is black and the other brown?” Son: “Yes, dad, but your other pair is just the same.”
Long Jokes
Little Johnny, exhibiting his skill in riding a new bicycle, came down the street in front of his house. “Look, mom,” he cried, folding his arms, “no hands!” Again he
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Little Johnny, exhibiting his skill in riding a new bicycle, came down the street in front of his house. “Look, mom,” he cried, folding his arms, “no hands!” Again he came into view, this time coasting with his feet off the pedals. “Look, mom,” he shouted, “no feet!’ Half an hour passed, and Johnny again putting his appearance. This time, somewhat subdued (softened) he gurgled, “Look, mom no front tooth.”