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Puns
My wife went to a roofing seminar for women only. She said it was great.All the shingle ladies were there.
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My wife went to a roofing seminar for women only. She said it was great.All the shingle ladies were there.
Puns
What do sprinters eat before a race? Nothing. They fast!
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What do sprinters eat before a race? Nothing. They fast!
Puns
Is it just me, or are circles totally pointless?
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Is it just me, or are circles totally pointless?
Short Jokes
I was in a job interview the other day and they asked if I could perform under pressure. I said, “No, but I can perform Bohemian Rhapsody!”
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I was in a job interview the other day and they asked if I could perform under pressure. I said, “No, but I can perform Bohemian Rhapsody!”
Puns
How does a monkey ring the doorbell? King Kong! King Kong!
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How does a monkey ring the doorbell? King Kong! King Kong!
Short Jokes
I decided to take distance learning college class — How to Deal With Lifes Disappointments. Yesterday, I got the first lesson by in the mail. It was an empty envelope.
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I decided to take distance learning college class — How to Deal With Lifes Disappointments. Yesterday, I got the first lesson by in the mail. It was an empty envelope.
Short Jokes
Grandpas last words will stay with me forever: Quit rattlin the ladder ya little hooligan!
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Grandpas last words will stay with me forever: Quit rattlin the ladder ya little hooligan!
Puns
I had trouble following the plot of the opera, but it must have been a pirate story because there was terror on the high C’s.
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I had trouble following the plot of the opera, but it must have been a pirate story because there was terror on the high C’s.
Puns
Coke always taste better from a glass bottle. It’s uncanny.
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Coke always taste better from a glass bottle. It’s uncanny.
Puns
I’m looking to buy an old used lighthouse, you know — nothing too flashy.
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I’m looking to buy an old used lighthouse, you know — nothing too flashy.
Puns
Puns
I have a stepladder. I never knew my real ladder.
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I have a stepladder. I never knew my real ladder.
Social Posts
If you had to decide between a diet and a piece of chocolate — would you prefer dark, white or milk chocolate?
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If you had to decide between a diet and a piece of chocolate — would you prefer dark, white or milk chocolate?
Social Posts
My wife and I often exchange opinions. I come with my own and leave with hers.
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My wife and I often exchange opinions. I come with my own and leave with hers.
Puns
I accidentally drank invisible ink. I’m in the hospital now waiting to be seen.
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I accidentally drank invisible ink. I’m in the hospital now waiting to be seen.
Puns
I always scrape out the bottom of the alphabet soup can. I’ts not that I’m frugal, I just enjoy having the last word.
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I always scrape out the bottom of the alphabet soup can. I’ts not that I’m frugal, I just enjoy having the last word.
Puns
A mattress company offered me a job selling mattresses. I told them I need to sleep on it.
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A mattress company offered me a job selling mattresses. I told them I need to sleep on it.
Social Posts
Age is like underwear – it creeps up on you when you least expect it.
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Age is like underwear – it creeps up on you when you least expect it.
Puns
Why are ghost such bad liars? Because they are easy to see through.
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Why are ghost such bad liars? Because they are easy to see through.
Short Jokes
Intelligent people are full of doubt — I think.
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Intelligent people are full of doubt — I think.
Short Jokes
I lost some weight once, but I found it again — in the fridge.
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I lost some weight once, but I found it again — in the fridge.
Puns
A horse goes into a bar. Barkeeper: “Why the long face?”
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A horse goes into a bar. Barkeeper: “Why the long face?”
Puns
What sits up a tree and goes “Aaaaaah”? An owl with a speech impediment.
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What sits up a tree and goes “Aaaaaah”? An owl with a speech impediment.
Puns
Do you know a trees favorite drink? Root beer.
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Do you know a trees favorite drink? Root beer.