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Puns
What did the toilet roll complain about? People just keep ripping me off!”
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What did the toilet roll complain about? People just keep ripping me off!”
Short Jokes
My mom is really nice and I love her, but when she starts yelling, even the neighbors start cleaning their homes.
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My mom is really nice and I love her, but when she starts yelling, even the neighbors start cleaning their homes.
Puns
Why did the physics teacher break up with the biology teacher? There was no chemistry.
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Why did the physics teacher break up with the biology teacher? There was no chemistry.
Puns
Why did the guy store his money in the freezer? He loved cold, hard cash.
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Why did the guy store his money in the freezer? He loved cold, hard cash.
Short Jokes
All my life I thought air was for free. That was until I bought a bag of potato chips.
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All my life I thought air was for free. That was until I bought a bag of potato chips.
Short Jokes
Money alone wont make you happy. Youve got to own it.
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Money alone wont make you happy. Youve got to own it.
Puns
I got you furniture for your birthday, because I ‘chair’-ish our friendship.
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I got you furniture for your birthday, because I ‘chair’-ish our friendship.
Puns
What do you say to the president on his birthday? You rule!
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What do you say to the president on his birthday? You rule!
Puns
Because one liners are so short, accurate spelling is vital. There is very little margarine for error.
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Because one liners are so short, accurate spelling is vital. There is very little margarine for error.
Puns
Puns
I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
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I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
Puns
When you get a bladder infection — urine trouble.
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When you get a bladder infection — urine trouble.
Puns
If a judge loves the sound of his own voice, expect a long sentence.
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If a judge loves the sound of his own voice, expect a long sentence.
Puns
I saw this man getting attacked by seagulls, I think he had a chip on his shoulder.
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I saw this man getting attacked by seagulls, I think he had a chip on his shoulder.
Puns
Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.
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Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.
Puns
What would happen if the universe exploded? No matter.
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What would happen if the universe exploded? No matter.
Puns
If a turkey runs away, does that make it a chicken?
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If a turkey runs away, does that make it a chicken?
Social Posts
Chocolate is the best investment. You buy 1 pound you gain 2 pounds!
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Chocolate is the best investment. You buy 1 pound you gain 2 pounds!
Puns
I fell over this morning and hit my head on my set of drums. I think I have a percussion.
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I fell over this morning and hit my head on my set of drums. I think I have a percussion.
Puns
He claimed he could throw a stick 20 miles away and his dog would find it. I told him it sounded far-fetched.
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He claimed he could throw a stick 20 miles away and his dog would find it. I told him it sounded far-fetched.
Puns
I met a microbiologist the other day. He was much bigger than I expected.
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I met a microbiologist the other day. He was much bigger than I expected.
Short Jokes
Tonight I dreamt of a beautiful walk on a sandy beach. At least that explains the footprints I found in the cat litter box this morning.
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Tonight I dreamt of a beautiful walk on a sandy beach. At least that explains the footprints I found in the cat litter box this morning.
Short Jokes
Doctor, I have problems with my eyesight. Yes you do. This is a hot dog stand.
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Doctor, I have problems with my eyesight. Yes you do. This is a hot dog stand.
Short Jokes
I enjoy being a politician. People throw all kinds of food at you.
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I enjoy being a politician. People throw all kinds of food at you.