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Short Jokes
If I had 50 cents for every math exam I’ve failed, Id have $6.30 now.
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If I had 50 cents for every math exam I’ve failed, Id have $6.30 now.
Short Jokes
I went to the psychic and knocked on the front door. She yelled “Who is it?” So I left.
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I went to the psychic and knocked on the front door. She yelled “Who is it?” So I left.
Puns
ATTENTION. The pool will be closed until further notice. Sorry for the incontinence.
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ATTENTION. The pool will be closed until further notice. Sorry for the incontinence.
Puns
After 5 years of training I’ve just qualified as a mountaineering instructor. I have to say, it’s been a long, uphill struggle.
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After 5 years of training I’ve just qualified as a mountaineering instructor. I have to say, it’s been a long, uphill struggle.
Social Posts
I got all sentimental when I saw my husband looking at our marriage certificate for half an hour. Then I found out hes been looking for an expiration date.
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I got all sentimental when I saw my husband looking at our marriage certificate for half an hour. Then I found out hes been looking for an expiration date.
Puns
Dyslexic prisoners are not helped by long sentences.
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Dyslexic prisoners are not helped by long sentences.
Puns
I had forgotten which direction I thew my boomarang — then it hit me.
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I had forgotten which direction I thew my boomarang — then it hit me.
Puns
NASA is launching a new mission to say sorry to the aliens. They are calling it — Apollo G.
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NASA is launching a new mission to say sorry to the aliens. They are calling it — Apollo G.
Puns
There was a big paddle sale at the boat store. It was quite an oar deal.
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There was a big paddle sale at the boat store. It was quite an oar deal.
Puns
The amount of people who confuse ‘to’ and ‘too’ is amazing two me.
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The amount of people who confuse ‘to’ and ‘too’ is amazing two me.
Puns
A fisherman was trying to learn the alphabet. He got lost at C.
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A fisherman was trying to learn the alphabet. He got lost at C.
Puns
My friend dropped his box of Italian pastries on the floor – I cannoli imagine what he must be going through.
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My friend dropped his box of Italian pastries on the floor – I cannoli imagine what he must be going through.
Puns
When James Bond slept through the earthquake, he was shaken but not stirred.
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When James Bond slept through the earthquake, he was shaken but not stirred.
Social Posts
Studies show that 99% of Dans are not, “The man”.
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Studies show that 99% of Dans are not, “The man”.
Puns
I FOR ONE. REALLY LOVE ROMAN NUMERIALS. YOU TOO? HIGH V.
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I FOR ONE. REALLY LOVE ROMAN NUMERIALS. YOU TOO? HIGH V.
Social Posts
Sometimes you meet someone and you know from the first moment that you want to spend your entire life without them.
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Sometimes you meet someone and you know from the first moment that you want to spend your entire life without them.
Social Posts
I think my wife has started to show the first signs of Alzheimers. She said she can’t remember what she ever saw in me.
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I think my wife has started to show the first signs of Alzheimers. She said she can’t remember what she ever saw in me.
Puns
I stepped on some grapes last night — I didn’t yell, but I did let out a little wine.
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I stepped on some grapes last night — I didn’t yell, but I did let out a little wine.
Social Posts
My girlfriend has started calling my hair ‘the economy’ — It’s begun showing strong signs of a recession.
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My girlfriend has started calling my hair ‘the economy’ — It’s begun showing strong signs of a recession.
Short Jokes
I just wrote a book on reverse psychology. Do not read it!
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I just wrote a book on reverse psychology. Do not read it!
Short Jokes
Any job is a dream job if you fall asleep in meetings.
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Any job is a dream job if you fall asleep in meetings.
Puns
Ya know what makes me smile? My facial muscles.
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Ya know what makes me smile? My facial muscles.
Social Posts
I just realized that the paper towels at the side of the gas pump are there so you can wipe your tears after you fill your tank.
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I just realized that the paper towels at the side of the gas pump are there so you can wipe your tears after you fill your tank.
Puns
I’m starting a fishing club. If you’re interested, drop me a line.
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I’m starting a fishing club. If you’re interested, drop me a line.