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Short Jokes
My wife called me at the bar. “If you aren’t home in ten minutes, I’ll give your dinner to the dog!” I hurried home. I really love that dog.
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My wife called me at the bar. “If you aren’t home in ten minutes, I’ll give your dinner to the dog!” I hurried home. I really love that dog.
Social Posts
Here’s a question for the mind readers out there.
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Here’s a question for the mind readers out there.
Puns
I went to a country store today and was saddened to learn they don’t sell countries anymore.
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I went to a country store today and was saddened to learn they don’t sell countries anymore.
Social Posts
I don’t understand why people say hurtful things like, “Let’s go for a run” or “Try this kale”.
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I don’t understand why people say hurtful things like, “Let’s go for a run” or “Try this kale”.
Puns
A local donut shop closed after 50 years. When the owner was asked why he was closing things down. He said, “I’m just tired of the hole thing”.
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A local donut shop closed after 50 years. When the owner was asked why he was closing things down. He said, “I’m just tired of the hole thing”.
Short Jokes
I can count the number of chainsaw accidents I’ve had on one hand.
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I can count the number of chainsaw accidents I’ve had on one hand.
Short Jokes
If you’re buying a watch on Amazon and it says you can swim with it on — this only applies if you can swim without it on.
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If you’re buying a watch on Amazon and it says you can swim with it on — this only applies if you can swim without it on.
Social Posts
We were so poor growing up, we ate ordinary K for breakfast.
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We were so poor growing up, we ate ordinary K for breakfast.
Puns
My father’s been working for Michelin for forty years and he keeps telling him he’s tired of it now.
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My father’s been working for Michelin for forty years and he keeps telling him he’s tired of it now.
Short Jokes
What do you call a man who has lost 90 percent of his intelligence? Divorced.
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What do you call a man who has lost 90 percent of his intelligence? Divorced.
Puns
Which president was least guilty? Lincoln. He is in-a-cent.
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Which president was least guilty? Lincoln. He is in-a-cent.
Puns
My wife brought home fifty thousand bees yesterday. Yep, she’s a keeper!
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My wife brought home fifty thousand bees yesterday. Yep, she’s a keeper!
Short Jokes
I had a friend who was addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop anytime.
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I had a friend who was addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop anytime.
Puns
Never date a radiologist. Shell see right through you.
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Never date a radiologist. Shell see right through you.
Puns
What do you call two baby goats together? A couple of kids.
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What do you call two baby goats together? A couple of kids.
Puns
Where do hamburgers go if they want to go dancing? The meatball.
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Where do hamburgers go if they want to go dancing? The meatball.
Puns
What kind of jobs do funny chickens have? They are comedi-hens!
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What kind of jobs do funny chickens have? They are comedi-hens!
Puns
If a clock strikes 13, what time is it? Time to get a new clock.
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If a clock strikes 13, what time is it? Time to get a new clock.
Puns
Why is Supermans outfit always so tight on him? Its a size S.
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Why is Supermans outfit always so tight on him? Its a size S.
Puns
Where do math teachers go on vacation? Times Square.
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Where do math teachers go on vacation? Times Square.
Puns
I used to play piano by ear. Now I use my hands.
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I used to play piano by ear. Now I use my hands.
Puns
When two vegans get into an argument, is it still called beef?
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When two vegans get into an argument, is it still called beef?
Short Jokes
My parents raised me as an only child, which really made my sister mad.
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My parents raised me as an only child, which really made my sister mad.
Short Jokes
My wife is mad that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right.
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My wife is mad that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right.